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Amanda Hoertkorn
@AmandaDardis
it's pronounced hurt-corn.
papist raccoon.
100% whole grain.
registered dietitian.
Salem, OR
Joined December 2011
363 Following
248 Followers
9K Posts
ย Pinned Tweet
I want to be famous
"I wonder what my call sign would be" - I think as I pop my 2014 Honda Accord in sport mode driving home from seeing the new Top Gun movie
"This year for Lent I will simply be giving up" - @HaileyCMgirl
It's official. My pet rabbit has more Instagram followers than I do.
Spending my daily hour on Zillow, you?
POV: your husband says he found something lighthearted to watch after an intense episode of Yellowstone.
"This YouTube video is about a can opener and is 24 minutes long so it's gotta be good"
@NelsonSigrah Brb gonna go dig my grave
Had to google what twee meant today ๐
We used to be a country. A proper country.
@katylr5 Maybe she's born with it
wasnโt gonna go out tonight but thereโs no way in hell iโm not getting drunk for jimโs birthday
Not me crying over Downton Abbey in the Year of Our Lord 2021
Not me crying over Downton Abbey in the year of Our Lord 2020
As if this year could get any worse I just met a dog named amanda
This 80 year old woman telling me how her husband traveled to Thailand, came home with a NEW WIFE, and then suggested the three of them live together in harmony.
"He will still come around once in awhile and ask for sex".
A thread of off-topic things patients have told me when I ask if they have recently lost any weight:
Apparently the best place to kill your husband is on a pig farm because pigs will eat the body. This particular conversation was rather unsettling coming from a 21 year old male.
Who needs illicit drugs when you have your husband's friends calling you "the cool wife".
Me when I correctly cook rice
@katylr5 PLEASE. We need a mascot ๐
Three more of my patients are going to die before morning. My heart is shattered.
Don't get me wrong, I love being a clinical dietitian with my whole heart. But man it is getting difficult going to work everyday and watching people die from a preventable infection.
It is a personal choice but never believe the lie that this decision only impacts you. It impacts countless employees and patients. It impacts your friends and family. This is not about you.
@katylr5 Jamaican me sad ๐
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