Andrea Palermo

Nature, Humor, & Knowledge- loving vegetarian atheist artist yogi activist... in a nutshell

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Y’all ever make a risotto that calls for a glass of wine but then decide to finish the bottle because you know if you put it in the fridge you’ll forget about it before it goes bad and end up a little tipsy on a random Wednesday night just because you were craving creamy rice?

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

A clingy toddler is like a horny teenager: either professing their love or wounding you deeply (or both, more often than not) while also constantly trying to cop a feel. #momthoughts

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Today’s teacher gripe: the amount of time it takes for the copier to log you out is slightly less than the amount of time it takes to make 90 copies… and I have more than 90 students. 🤦🏻‍♀️😫

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Carrying around a preserved dead rat in my purse, because I won it in a raffle. Nbd. #scienceteacherthings #NSTA2022

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Pro tip: don’t plan a big important test such that the results will be emailed to you on Cyber Monday, the day everyone who has ever received your email address for any reason will be spamming you to buy shit ALL DAY. 😫

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

When my kids accidentally hurt me instead of checking that I’m okay, first they check that Papa didn’t notice so they’re not in as much trouble. So that’s fun.

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

When you tell your kids “I’m exhausted and sad, I need to go lie down and cry a bit” and they say “okay but can we at least have dinner first?” #momlife

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

😬 https://t.co/NeqgytCE8D

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Zaniel: What are y’all planning?
Me: Zia says she’s going to do all her homework and clean her room without a fuss today so we can watch a movie tonight.
Zia: I didn’t say there would be no fuss!

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

@chompers @hamstertalk @rachel_dry So my kids (3 and 6) have decided this episode is the best one ever and the peak of humor and it’s the only Chompers they’ll brush to anymore since the 16th when it aired. So thanks a lot, @hamstertalk 😂🐹🎉

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Every foodie podcast all year: bucatini is the best pasta, that’s why there’s a shortage of it. Pasta with holes is superior to all others and the world is a worse place for this dearth of bucatini.
My kids: Why won’t this spaghetti slurp properly?! This is the worst!

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Ugh this show is so good and insightful, Elaine and Desean are my spirit animals. #CouplesTherapy

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Or: hear me out - NO ONE should have guns.

[@TheCoreyRichardson on Threads. Follow Me There. @vexedinthecity]

"I mistook my taser for my gun" is really a striking endorsement of not giving patrol officers guns in the first place. I mean, if your pharmacist couldn't tell an aspirin from fentanyl, it's not just something you accept as a occupational hazard.

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

“Ew mom I can smell your pee and that’s not fair” -my 2 year old son, as I pee in the toilet waiting for the shower to warm up. The shower we have to take because he peed all over both of our bodies during his nap. 🤦🏻‍♀️ #thejoysofparenting #theirony

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

For the record so far this week my daughter has drawn:
4 pictures for her dad, 3 for her teacher, 2 for our dogs, 1 for her little brother, and exactly ZERO for her mother who carried her for ten months, nursed her for 3 1/2 years, and makes all of her meals.

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

QUIT THANKING HIM FOR IGNORING YOU. #VPDebate

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Trump: “Can I be honest?”
The rest of humanity: “Yes please, that would be a refreshing change of pace!”
#PresidentialDebate

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

@ThirstAidKit No one has ever sold me so thoroughly on ANYTHING as you ladies just sold me on @SweetMagnolias, so good!

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

@Bilibo Your toy promises to be million things - a turtle shell, a chair, a helmet, a sensory spinner - and it’s been all of those things here! But ours is also sometimes a veggie harvester and a piñata mold. 😆

[Andrea Palermo @Andiberri]

Me, checking the calendar: Sweet, it’s been a week since the kids were sick, we can be social again! (Frantically books up our whole weekend with activities)

The kids: “Ah-choo!” (Green mucus flies all over) “Moooom, I’m hoooot!” (Barfs)

Me: 😫 (cancels everything again)