Andy Humphreys

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

#jeremyvineon5 A group of Apes should be called "a Commons" (or "a Parliament")!

[John Sweeney @johnsweeneyroar]

War Diary Day 365
Lots of tomatoes in Kyiv
Brexit was a rare Russian victory

[lucy woods @LucyWoodslucy70]

Daniel: I live in the Netherlands. We have too many tomatoes! We used to export them to the UK but it now takes a truck driver 77 hours of queueing to take tomatoes to the UK and all truck drivers simply refuse. So now we have cheap abundant tomatoes here in the Netherlands.

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

And the Teacher was where? Disgraceful.
Deserves 10 years locked away! 😠

[Chris Hobbs @obbsie]

Those kicks could have killed.

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

@Conservatives Cancel HS2,and I make that an overall £50m SAVING!

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

By way of clarification, I should just explain that when I don’t wear a seatbelt it is “an error of judgement”, whereas when anyone else does it they are breaking the law and should be fined.

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

@JeremyVineOn5 If 'Joe Pubic' can be convicted of motoring offences, on the evidence of others' webcam bytes, so should the PM!

[Parody Nigel Farage @Parody_PM]

On the plus side, if I'm forced out in disgrace after only a few weeks in the job, I'll still get the £115k a year for life that all former PMs get.

[Danny Baker @prodnose]

Once more political commentators are filling columns with "the runners and riders" for yet another government position.
Why bother? It's the whole stable that's rotten. To the knackers yard with the lot of them.
#GeneralElectionNow

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

Pure class!!! 🤪

[Lewis Goodall @lewis_goodall]

Reports that Kwasi Kwarteng is to be sacked. Would be our fourth shortest serving Chancellor in history. Would mean the UK has had four chancellors since July. In the middle of a cost of living crisis.

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

Why would CNN announce Kwasi's sacking before UK sources?! https://t.co/FPmN0YRke5

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

@amazonhelp Having ordered 40xAA and 40xAAA Batteries, during your 'Eary Specials' offer earlier this week, imagine my dismay at receiving a damaged, but not deformed, A3 envelope containing NOTHING! And then ONLY be offered a refund.

[Dr Julia Grace Patterson💙 @JujuliaGrace]

The NHS is not failing; it is being deliberately failed by this government.

[Count Binface @CountBinface]

Retweet if I’d be a better PM than Truss.

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

Apparently, Kwasi tried to bring some overly ripe tomatoes through customs - to make a salad!

[Jeremy Vine & Daytime on 5 @JeremyVineOn5]

Can a 70p iceberg lettuce outlast Liz Truss as prime minister?

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

@theJeremyVine Come on the #Lettuce

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

These changes, to Adlington et al, are ridiculous!

[Liz Hardwick @Tech_Geek_Girl]

Love living in #Chorley? You might not do for much longer!

Just found out about the potential boundary changes via @Cllr_MargaretF

Make sure you share your opinions here...
https://t.co/zQj6ORghSh

Please share!
@guardianchorley @Chorleybabe @UniqueLadiesNW @LindsayHoyle_MP

[Howard Beckett @HowardRBeckett]

On 26 August wholesale gas cost 702p per therm

Today, wholesale gas costs 296p per therm.

No wonder gas corp profits are up 411%.

[Andy Humphreys @AndyH55]

How do Pensioners 'go on strike? [Asking for a friend].