Andy Oterson

Interests include healthcare and technology. (Often referred to as a scruffy looking nerf-herder)

[Murray Hill Guy @MurrayHillGuy1]

Building the ideal NFL roster based entirely on their relationship situation:

QB: Married to an above-average looking woman he met before he was famous. Attractive, supportive, but not Madison Beer hot. QB1 cannot have distractions.

RB: Knocked up his college girlfriend sophomore year. Still with her. 3 kids. Rumored mistress that everyone in the organization knows about but nobody discusses. May have one domestic violence charge that got dropped.

WR1: Completely single. Zero responsibilities. Following 4,700 women on Instagram. Let him cook.

WR2: Dating an Instagram model with 800k followers. Relationship is extremely toxic. Somehow this makes him better.

Slot WR: White guy married to a beautiful mid blonde. Golden retriever. Two kids. Lives 12 minutes from the facility. Automatic on 3rd & 7.

TE: Dating a famous actress/singer who gets shown during every broadcast. Annoying but necessary for team morale.

LT/RT: Married to high school sweethearts. Southern women. Three kids minimum. Own homes on 5+ acres. Absolutely zero nightlife.

Guards: Also married. Wives are best friends. Joint family vacations every offseason.

Center: Has been with the same woman since 8th grade. She packs his lunch.

WR3: Single, but not famous enough to pull WR1 numbers. Gets the girls WR1 stopped responding to.

Kicker: Wife is inexplicably a 10. Nobody understands how he did it.

Punter: You have literally no idea if he has ever spoken to a woman.

This team goes 14-3.

[Tim Denning @Tim_Denning]

This article should have 100M views.

[Kate Upton @KateUpton]

Hey @MLB I thought I was the only person allowed to fuck @JustinVerlander ?! What 2 writers didn't have him on their ballot?

[Karol Markowicz @karol]

I'm rich enough that I didn't ask the price of a loaf of bread at a farm stand and accidentally bought an $18(!!!) loaf of sourdough but not so rich that I haven't stopped thinking about it for the past 24 hours.

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@jhardingAL I feel like we’re watching the exact same thing from the past 5 years…

[Agent Self FBI™ @AgentSelf99b]

Trump is not giving you a dividend check for $5000. They're not giving you $9,000 to stay home with your kids. They didn't give you the DOGE check. Or the tariff refund. Or $2 gas. Or cheaper groceries. Or a healthcare plan. Or 600% off your prescriptions. At some point, gullibility stops being an accident and starts being a choice.

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@CardsThings Verlander

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@SalVetriDFS Had three of those on my team last year. I did very poorly.

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@CardsThings Both great, but I love that Trout parallel

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@WatchTheBreaks I loved pinnacle back in the day. The dudes from 1994 amazed me. (Still actually completing that set)

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@OrevaZSN It’ll never happen

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@Neely711 Not that I’ve seen this show- cause I obviously haven’t. That being said, the writing, especially in season 1 is pretty damn good. The movie was solid too!

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@CarlosLeeFan @WatchTheBreaks @RyanStadler79 That’s what happened in the beginning for the bubble gum card

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@thekid24cards I just found out about it. I like trying to get little known parallels and inserts from the 90’s. The hunt is fun.

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@thekid24cards you have the best collection of griffeys I know of- do you have the 1992 stadium club members choice east coast national card? I can’t even find a picture of it online. I’m wondering if it even exists…

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@Neely711 Once the 7th inning is over if we don’t have a three run lead we’ve basically lost.

[Andy Oterson @AndyOterson]

@Neely711 It’s sad…me too…

[Sahil Bloom @SahilBloom]

Underrated life advice: A good life is built by simply doing uncomfortable things sooner. The delayed conversation gets harder. The ignored problem gets bigger. The small repair gets more expensive. Peace is never found through avoidance. It’s found through direct early action.

[Renzo™ @fwrenzo1]

Nobody talks about how we're all paying $15 for sandwiches now and just pretending that's normal. Five years ago that same sandwich was $8. The price doubled and the only explanation we got was "supply chain issues" which apparently means "forever."