Andy Wise

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

You can put it in my butt and I won’t even be mad 🤷‍♀️😁

[Holly Haterpants @heapsOhate]

Of course there are other girls like me but most of them are in jail

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

I don’t wear a bra so I don’t have to deal with all that awkward eye contact

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

You know you’re too high when you start liking MASH 😂

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

My dog has learned that if she throws up she gets the better food

Well played lulu...... well played

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

“What radio station do you listen to? “

My AUX 👌

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

Need someone to steal my identity and help my credit score out

[alezander @alezvnder]

Her: babeee why won’t you answer me?

Him: i’m with the boys

Her: the boys gonna suck yo dick as good as me? 😏

The boys:

[Kristi @oh_em_fn_gee]

If Satan ever lost his hair, there would be hell toupee

I'll see myself out

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

Wish I got a dollar every time I farted...... could retire like yesterday

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

I don’t get mad when you guys ask for nudes

So don’t get mad when I ask for money in return 😁

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

My time line has had me laughing the last hour 😂😂😂

Here are a few of my favorites

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

My dog fat as fuck 😂😂😂

Can’t even be mad, my baby Lu (legal name: Lulu Simmons) is my spirit animal💜

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

Got a lot of love and anal to give 💜

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

I'm back on my bullshit, its over for you hoes

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

If you're done with those good vibes, I'll take em

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

When y'all break the bed so he starts going even harder 😂😂

Bucket List:
✔break bed during sex

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

I will never not make dick jokes 🤷‍♀️

I don't care big or small I'll make fun of them all

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

My aunt is on life support, please just hit me with the BEST vibes you can send.

She gots this 💜💜💜💜

[Kelsey Simmons @KelseyESimmons]

*1am me hungry at my mom's house*

"Rodney(stepdad) will you please make me a grilled cheese?"

I'm sorry I'm going to bed - Rodney

"Its okay, its not your fault you don't love me"