Ari Gold

LLOYD!!!!!!!
*Parody Account*

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Hey @TrojanCondoms here's your new ad campaign, free of charge

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Congratulations!

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Ashley Madison PRO TIP: If you follow @ashleymadison on twitter, you are already doing it wrong.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

This weekend do remember:
don't drink and drive
call your mother
and most importantly
watch ENTOURAGE the movie.

Starring, me.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

I'm just so happy I don't have to see another one of those sappy Memorial Day montages for a whole year.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

I have road rage? No, I have YOU'RE A FUCKING IDIOT RAGE

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Why don't we start the day off with some hugs and kisses? How's everyone feeling after Happy 420 yesterday? I'm sure today was peachy.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

You will come back stronger than ever. Like Lance Armstrong ... but with two balls. Now let's hug it out, bitch.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Oh did I offend anyone?

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

I have a client who has made me less than a million dollars so don't tell me I don't understand what it's like working with idiots

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Jeremy Renner is proof you don't have to good looking, talented, tall or have any good characteristics at all to make it in Hollywood.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Sorry I haven't taken your phone calls in 4 years, you're just not successful enough for me. I'll play Words With Friends with you though

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

I've only made four million dollars off of other people's talents today

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

If you make me money I'll take your phone calls. If you don't make me money, I'll talk to you when you make me money.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

You ALL are the gay son I never wanted.

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Hey DUMBFUCK why don't you write the script instead of bitching about it on Tumblr?

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Here's your horoscope for 2015!

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Here's a #NewYearsResolution that I think you all should consider

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Me when some low-life pile of shit fedora wearing toolbag tries to give me a "high-five".

[Ari Gold @Angry_Ari_Gold]

Hey Vegans, I have a message for you all