Anthony Hand

If it ain't for ya it won't pass ya by

[Cllr. Patrick Quinlan @PQuinlanNP]

They're not all filling out a census.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@john_mcguirk 😵‍💫 don't see anything wrong here ya wankers

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@Fingalcoco Cycling around Utrecht City in Holland which is in no way comparable to Skerries Town. Anyone who lives within the walking distance to the town, walks to shops etc.
Skerries Town doesn't need to be destroyed by @Fingalcoco.
Leave Skerries alone.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@Fingalcoco I find it quite an annoying joke that the one time I've seen Tom O'Leary on a bike in Skerries is when he making a promotional video to push the distruction of a fishing seaside town by cycling around a car park.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@dineen20dineen Cover the mic, answer and say nothing. The bot will hang up as its expecting some to say hello or their name and when it gets no response it hang up after a second or two.
Eventually your number will get added to a no response list and the calls will stop.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@rtenews So, nothing else happening eah ?

[Seán Mc @SeanDubIreland]

Michéal Martin walks into a Bank 

He needs to cash a cheque.

As he approaches the cashier he says, "Good morning, could you please cash this cheque for me?"

The cashier says “It would be my pleasure. Could you please show me your ID?”

Michéal replies: “Truthfully, I did not bring my ID with me as I didn't think there was any need to. I am Michéal Martin, An Taoiseach.”

The cashier says: “Yes, I know who you are, but with all the regulations and monitoring of the banks because of impostors and forgers and requirements of the legislation, etc., I must insist on seeing ID.”

Michéal says: “There must be something we can do? Everybody knows who I am.”

“Alright sir, here is an example of what we can do,” he says. 

“One day, Shane Lowry came into the bank without an ID. To prove he was Lowry he pulled out his wedge and made a beautiful shot across the Grand Canal into a cup of tea held by the bank's chairman without spilling a drop. With that shot we knew him to be Shane Lowry and cashed his cheque.”

“Another time, Gordon Ramsay came in without an ID. To prove who he was, he made delicious chicken parma right here on my table, called the branch manager a fucking donkey, and fired everyone at the fish and chips joint next door. With that we knew who he was and cashed his cheque. So sir, what can you do to prove that it is you?”

Michéal Martin stands there thinking and thinking and finally says, "Honestly, my mind is a total blank. There is nothing that comes to my mind. I can't think of a single thing. I have absolutely no idea what to do."

The cashier replies: “That will do just fine Mr Martin, will that be large or small notes?”

[ThisisDublin @Thisisdublin0]

This is the moment mad man attacks garda in Dublin City with knife 🔪 stabbing him 😯

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@rtenews They need to be able to look at mobile phone usage at the time of the innocent, I'd think it might open our eyes.

[Carlow Weather @CarlowWeather]

What a photo 👏👏👏

[LiveDrive @LiveDrive]

Two motorists have been blocking Swords Rd inbound for over 3 hours for what is no more than a minor tip with no significant damage to either vehicle. Just a reminder of @GardaTraffic advice regarding RTAs:

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@lisburngc Hopefully in time it will drain and return to it's form glory.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@Joe_The_Duck Some move 👍

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@defenceforces Rest in Peace Seán, Condolences to his family and to his colleagues in the 27 Infantry Battalion.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@williamhboney1 Barry Levins from Bohan Road, I thought you economists in school. THIS IS NOT WHAT I MEANT BY NEGOTIATING A BETTER DEAL, ya twat 🙄

[RTÉ News @rtenews]

After nine months of war Russian President Vladimir Putin met for the first time with women whose children are fighting in Ukraine, assuring those who had lost sons that he and Russia's elite 'share this pain'
https://t.co/pIw1DCVdnr

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@rtenews Glad justice actually showed common sense, not that Andrew has anything else to hide, tut tut. 🤞🤞🤞🤞

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@ShaneLowryGolf @dunhilllinks Ah Shane, just letting his stupidity into your life can't be a good thing. Apart from the fact that it's like, LIV, so staged, badly 😢 Weather is where your thoughts should be 🌧🌨⛈️ Enjoy it bud.

[Anthony Hand @AnthonyJohnHand]

@Joe_The_Duck Cracking up 🤣

[An Garda Síochána @GardaTraffic]

Blanchardstown RPU were on patrol recently when they stopped this vehicle and found the driver was a learner who was travelling unaccompanied.

No L Plates or tax disc were displayed, and the vehicle had no NCT.

The vehicle was seized and FCPNs issued to the driver.