Marietta

Taking it slow....

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

@JusttLit And you're stupid.
How many times do you called out the thousands of fraudulent politicians mismanaging this country??

[Nancy Charles @cancelwok3]

A couple of days ago, I posted a transformation photo that went viral… a before and after.

A few years ago, I was fully living as a trans-identifying member of the LGBTQ+ community. That was the “before.”

Today, I’m a devout traditional Catholic woman. That’s the “after.”

The visual difference is shocking, I know. But what that photo does capture, but doesn’t fully explain, is the depth of healing that happened between those two images. What changed wasn’t just my clothes, or my hair color, or the way I stand. It was my soul. My mind. My heart. And yes, my body too.

But as the post began to go more viral, I began seeing more and more comments like this…
“God doesn’t care how you dress.”
“You can have blue hair and still love Jesus.”
“Just be yourself. That’s what God wants. You still looked fine before the change.”

I know people mean well. I really do.
But can I just be honest?

That kind of thinking almost killed me.

Because when I was living in complete rejection of my identity as a woman, everything about me: my clothes, my hair, the way I moved through the world, affirmed a lie. A lie that told me that I had the authority to create myself outside of God's design for me, without repercussion. A lie that told me that I could outrun the pain of my trauma by becoming someone and something that I wasn’t.

My appearance was part of the disorder. It affirmed the disconnect between my nature (how God created me) and how I saw myself. That disconnection wasn’t a neutral act. It was a destructive one. A rebellion against my creator.

So when I surrendered my life to Jesus and started walking the road towards healing, I knew that in order to love God in the way that He deserves to be loved, that I would have to reorder my whole life back towards Him.

And part of that meant dressing differently.
Even when it felt unnatural. Even when it still didn’t feel like ME yet.

This journey is not for the faint of heart. It was deeply and profoundly uncomfortable.

There were days I felt so fake putting on a dress or letting my hair grow out. I remember avoiding mirrors, because when I'd see my reflection, it just made me cry. I hated that thing (me) in the mirror. I couldn't see what others saw in me… not when I dressed like a woman. I hated myself.

I had days where all I could do was lay in bed, clinging to my rosary in tears, telling God that I knew He was good and that I knew He wasn’t going to abandon me. I just begged Him to love me through whatever treacherous hell of uncertainty, at times, this journey has felt like.

But even though this journey has been deeply uncomfortable and painful at times, I did it anyway. I knew with my intellect that I had to stop reinforcing the lie with my body. Why? Because I believed in God's plan for me. I had faith that there was goodness in how He made me and how He designed me. So I engaged my will and chose obedience, even when it was utterly terrifying to do so.

In that discomfort, though, I found a deeply powerful and sacrificial way to love:

I started offering my suffering up to God. I started laying it down at the foot of the Cross. Every time I wanted to throw on a hoodie and disappear into androgyny again, I offered it as penance instead. I offered it for others who were still caught in the storm of identity confusion. I asked God to use my little acts of surrender as spiritual weapons for someone else’s freedom. Some days, that was the only way I knew how to remain resilient.

God did not leave me in this dark place, though.
As time went on, the most miraculous things began to happen.

The healing started to occur.
The pain started to ease.

And out of nowhere, I started to enjoy being feminine.
I started to feel like a woman for the first time in my entire life.

And eventually… it felt weird trying to dress the old way. Like it didn’t belong to me anymore. Because it didn’t. That person died.

I’m not exaggerating when I say this: over the course of two years, God gave me back more than ten years of therapy ever did. Not because therapy is useless, but because grace provides true healing in ways that human psychology never will be able to.

And here’s the part that hurts to say, but someone has to say it:

If I had gone through with the “gender solution,” if I had taken hormones or changed my body, right now I would be two years deeper into an identity that never belonged to me in the first place. I would still be a slave to my flesh. I would still be trapped in a lie that most certainly would have made me even more unhappy and suicidal than I already was when I thought that my identity was the lie. If I had gone down that route, I can honestly say that I wouldn't have made it much longer. I would not be here today, because I would have ended my life.

Instead, though, because I said yes to God, He gave me back tenfold more than I ever thought was possible. He restored things in me that I never thought were possible to restore.

He didn’t leave me in my confusion. He honored my obedience. Every time I handed over something small, like my look, my clothes, my insecurities, He gave me back something so much greater. He gave me joy, clarity, a deep peace, and ultimately restored my womanhood.

I don’t care how “outdated” or “legalistic” this sounds…

How you present yourself does matter.

Do not be fooled though, my change was never about trying to earn God’s love, because He already loved me no matter what. That’s not in question. The real question is: what do you do when you say you love Him back? Obedience isn’t about proving you’re worthy of love; it’s about offering your life as a response to being loved. It’s how surface-level love becomes sacrificial love. It’s how choosing objective truth over feelings turns into faithfulness. When you choose to obey, especially when it’s hard, you’re not just agreeing with God’s truth, you’re aligning yourself with it. And in that dying to self, you don’t lose who you are… you find who you were always meant to be. Restored. Reordered. And fully alive in Christ.

If you’re someone who’s never struggled with gender or identity trauma, maybe this doesn’t hit the same way. But for someone like me, someone who rejected the very essence of my creation, the internal healing couldn’t take place without the external healing.

This was war.

So no, it wasn’t “just clothes, or blue hair.” It was a deliverance.

It was Jesus saying, “You are not who the world said you were. You are mine.”

And now?

I’m free.

+JMJ+

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

@nyaraVT You sound like a MAN

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

@DolfSays Happy Birthday

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

@DaisyIsNotHere You're a male pretending to be female.

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

He looks stupid

[olivia 𐚁 @hvwkns]

yall smell that shit?

[𝓑ᥫ᭡ @quesadaaa_]

Finish school, don’t have no babies, move away from home, and LIVE, A man will always be there.

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

@YSLONIKA It's actually a great song

[Sam Beynon #BLM #FreePalestine 🇵🇸 🇿🇦 @BeynonSammy]

💔🕊️

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

My toxic trait is thinking I'll be productive after one cup of coffee 🤦‍♂️😂

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

Why's it so hard for me to tweet my thought?!

[Bowling Pete @bibles4booze]

That seems…expensive??

[The Figen @TheFigen_]

Aweee he thinks he is still in his mother's womb. 🤗🤗

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

Nothing wrong with a Honda civic.

[Raphousetv (RHTV) @raphousetv2]

Man goes viral for buying his girl a Honda Civic for her birthday and gets clowned on social media

[☆ ★ @imfynerthanfyne]

like i’ve never seen this😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭this so messy

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

?

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

Lost this guy over a year ago. Still sucks 😪 💔

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

Yeah your mom just wants the best for you. Fix up.

[🐈 bella 🐈 @bellabayleaf_]

mum walked in and said I looked high, then asked why i didn't have a job yet, asked me how much I'd been drinking lately cause she saw a bottle in the kitchen and then she noticed a bandaid on my arm and said "youre not cutting again are you?" all in the span of 90 seconds

[Marietta @ApolloMari18296]

This is ridiculously funny

[RadioGenoa @RadioGenoa]

The English police will hunt down and try to arrest Americans who post memes about England.