Ashley

Funnier on the internet

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

This tweet is only for my FBI agent:

hey man, did I sound okay when I was singing Burn from Hamilton at the top of my lungs in my car as if I had a man in my life to hurt me? I think it was a little pitchy. I’m open to constructive criticism.

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Working on some terrible music for u all xoxo you’re gonna hate it!

[John Foley @2008Philz]

HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON...HER SISTER WAS A WITCH RIGHT? AND WHAT WAS HER SISTER? A PRINCESS, THE WICKED WITCH OF THE EAST BRO. YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG? AM I WRONG? SHE WORE A CROWN AND SHE CAME DOWN IN A BUBBLE

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

*aggressively doing the sign for all done*

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

Noah Kahan indy lawn tickets reselling for 300+ dollars is CRIMINAL

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

Uh oh the Facebook moms are already complaining about the Barbie movie.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

A man just asked me if my chrysanthemum tattoo was a lily. Now let’s do a fun little side by side to determine if this man has ever seen a lily.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

@littlecaytlin HEADED THERE SOON DONT U WORRY

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

I haven’t lived in Monee for nearly 2 years now but I just don’t have it in me to take lucky burrito out of my contacts. She was too special to me.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

@_KalebMatthew_ IM ON MY WAY

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

I wonder what the youth pastors are gonna do to spin the submarine story into a message this week

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

Happy new @NoahKahan Day to all who celebrate

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

Ope

[Mason Mennenga @masonmennenga]

“LGBTQ people are marketing sex to children” says the person who made his daughter pledge her sexual purity to him

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

@HannahK127 I honestly couldn’t think of a better person for the job.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

I could go back to therapy or I could make a google form to send to all past and future failed relationships to see why we didn’t work out for FREE

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

Ha nice.

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

I am so thrilled to announce the release of Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever) on 6/9. I deeply appreciate your patience and your support for this project and I am so incredibly grateful to be able to continue telling this story.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

I thought everyone on tiktok was only seeing videos with @NoahKahan Stick Season Deluxe version previews. turns out, they aren’t.

and I think I’m might be mentally unstable.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

This is a written warning that the moment @NoahKahan drops the deluxe version of Stick Season that I will be indisposed for a significant amount of time.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

Earned my white lady badge today. Tried to help a loose dog. He was very large and I treated him like a tiny baby.

I ended up with scratches. I still think he was just a sweet lil baby.

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

The midwestern urge to ask “y’all still living out on *insert street name here*?” When you run into an old friend

[Ashley @Ash_Not_Ketchum]

If you’re my aunt and uncles neighbor who just saw me on the back patio without pants on trying to get the dogs to stop barking, no you didn’t.