Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾

Performer of stuff. Writer of things.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

Me drunk at 3am microwaving my depression pizza forgetting it’s still wrapped in aluminum foil.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@NoahKahan Noah why did you block me on Instagram!

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@DrDeburnke Sisyphus ahh dog

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@NoahKahan Noah why am I blocked on Instagram!!!

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

You’re going to have to pry this app out of my cold dead hands.

[Parody Jeff @Parodyjeffx]

The Secret Service anytime someone with a gun is running at Donald Trump:

[Turning Point USA @TPUSA]

THE LINEUP FOR THE ALL-AMERICAN HALFTIME SHOW IS HERE! 🔥

Watch Kid Rock, Brantley Gilbert, Lee Brice, and Gabby Barrett THIS SUNDAY 🇺🇸

[Dylan Federico @DylanFedericoWX]

HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY! Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow. Six more weeks of winter! 🥶❄️☃️ #GroundhogDay2026

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

Imagine paying thousands of dollars for a portrait and it turned out like this?

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

My friends and I wrote a sketch that we weren’t able to perform due to a power outage at our theater. Almost the exact same sketch was performed on SNL a few days later. It’s very easy for two people to have similar idea.

[NEON @neonrated]

A statement from TOGETHER writer and director Michael Shanks.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@kylemooney Mr. Mooney. When will the lyrics for your amazing debut album, The Real Me, be available on Spotify?

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@gretagerwigflew Pride & Prejudice

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@GareRick 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@warfareanalysis @floeziegfeld

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@tommybayertime BOH monster, FOH Celcius

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

*The most iconic Christmas Tree Shops in Massachusetts closes due to bankruptcy*

Spirit Halloween:

[The Boston Globe @BostonGlobe]

Christmas Tree Shops location near Sagamore Bridge will house Spirit Halloween this fall https://t.co/VMgPIkRhfY

[OSINTdefender @sentdefender]

The President of France, Emmanuel Macron has blamed “Video Games and Bad Parenting” for the Mass Riots that have been ongoing across the Country for over 3 Nights.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

Quentin Tarantino uncontrollably shaking from 00:00-00:08

[Film Updates @FilmUpdates]

The official trailer for Greta Gerwig’s #Barbie has been released.

Only in theaters July 21, 2023.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

I can’t get over my daughter taking this picture of me and telling me how to pose. It’s one of my favorite pictures of me because it’s from her point of view.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

And it is because of this tweet from 2018 that I can never enjoy a lemon poppyseed muffin the same way ever again.

[CDC @CDCgov]

Ticks can be the size of a poppy seed. Can you spot all 5 ticks in this photo? Learn how to prevent tick bites. https://t.co/ATtrY7YFoS

[6ixBuzzTV @6ixbuzztv]

#REPORT: Canadians are now stealing overpriced food items from grocery stores with no remorse.

[Ashley S🇵🇷🇺🇾 @AshleyAlexiss]

@candaceshaw You LOVE IT