AttorneyProblems

Memer 🤣 Nerd 🤓 Lawyer ⚖ Self-proclaimed “Funniest Lawyer in America” 🇺🇸

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Replacing “Regards” with “It is what it is” on my signature line.

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

My law school application said I wanted to “give a voice to the voiceless.”

The voiceless turns out to be a mid-cap company that needs its NDA by Friday.

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

The scariest thing in law is the defense deciding they don’t need to depose your client

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

The scariest thing in law is a client reading their settlement breakdown and saying “That seems fair”

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

The scariest thing in law is opposing counsel accepting your first demand

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

The scariest thing in law is a client who agrees with your analysis of their case

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Partner Who Never Works: “Tx”

Partner Who Works His Ass Off: “Thanks yuo”

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Judge: How do you explain these cites we checked that don’t exist?

Me: Praise be to Allah.

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Lawyers ready to throw down at a moment’s notice via email

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Half of my day is deleting emails I shouldn’t have been copied on.

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

@Realneo101 Incredibly disappointing.

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

@AGPamBondi Except if you’re a criminal who was pardoned by Trump, ICE, or a pedophile in the Epstein Files 😅

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

@LauraLoomer I guess no amount of comments alerting you to the fact this tweet is fake is enough for you to think twice about dishonestly scoring political points against a man who was just recently murdered. But that’s what’s expected of an extremist. Confirmation bias and delusion.

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

@hollygdw @iAnonPatriot 😂

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@gtconway3d @grok The people going ape shit defending him and the people going ape shit talking shit are equally entertaining 🍿

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

@WhiteHouse 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Moving forward I will signing off all my meet and confer letters with:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER!

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

@TX2005TX 😂

[AttorneyProblems @AttorneyProbs]

Pro-tip next time a judge asks you why you missed the hearing tell them you were on your way when your pager exploded in your pants.