Autist_Ostrich

interior crocodile alligator
i drive a Chevrolet movie theater

[Redbirdriot @RedbirdRiot]

JORDAN WALKER LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

[St. Louis Cardinals @Cardinals]

Ryan Howard crowns the CHAMP

[St. Louis Cardinals @Cardinals]

HOME RUN DERBY CHAMPION!

[🅱️ete oaks @b0newalljackson]

boomer music was like “ wow that retarded kid is good at pinball “

[erin chack @ErinChack]

One time I made eye contact with a homeless guy so I said “Hey how’s it going” and he said “Not too good im homeless.”

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In Alabama a man said "Roll Tide" to me as a greeting.

Later that same day, the same man said "Roll Tide" as a goodbye.

I asked a woman at the store what it means.

She said, "Roll Tide."

I asked what it means.

She said, "It means Roll Tide, sugar."

So I began collecting evidence. I kept a list. I am not embarrassed about the list.

I have now heard "Roll Tide" used as: hello. Goodbye. Thank you. I am sorry. Congratulations. That is unfortunate. I agree. I disagree. And once, in a hardware store, as a complete set of instructions for installing a ceiling fan.

I heard it said at a funeral.

It was appropriate. It was the most appropriate thing anyone said that day.

I began using it. Carefully at first, the way a man handles a borrowed sword.

I said it to a cashier. She said it back.

I said it to a police officer who had stopped me for a broken taillight.

He looked at me for a long moment. He looked at my face. He looked at my taillight.

Then he said it back, and nodded once, and did not write the ticket.

I wish to be extremely clear that I am not claiming those two events are related.

I am also not claiming they are unrelated.

A man at a gas station heard my accent and asked where I was from. I told him Japan.

He said, "Roll Tide."

He meant welcome. I knew he meant welcome. There was no ambiguity at all.

I have been in Alabama eleven days.

I have one word.

It has been enough for everything.

I have started saying it in other states.

It does not work in other states.

I said it in a warehouse store in Oregon. One man turned around.

He was from Alabama. He said it back. We did not speak after that. We did not have to.

I say it anyway.

[Drew @AllegedlyDrew]

When it’s 105 degrees Europeans die of heat stroke.

When it’s 105 degrees Americans down a 6pack and mow the lawn shirtless.

We are not the same.

[Ricky Hollywood @victim_burn77]

Korean spinoff of my 600ibs life called my 125ibs life

[World of Statistics @stats_feed]

2020 was 2020 days ago.

[trash jones @jzux]

no offense to horses but if someone led me to water i would drink to be polite

[Autist_Ostrich @Autist_Ostrich]

@LeadingReport These are all great

[Autist_Ostrich @Autist_Ostrich]

@GuntherEagleman No, she will just move to the next thing that gets clicks

[RacerXVI🏳️‍⚧️ @N0iseBom3]

Mitch McConnell was at hellfest in a wheelchair getting spun around for Elysia

[René @schizohustler]

my manager at the weed dispensary just told me to turn off imagine dragons because it was scaring black customers

[Jeremy Frank @MLBRandomStats]

Pitcher pulled with a perfect game of 6+ innings

1901 to 2015: 0 times in 115 years
2016 to 2025: 3 times in 10 years
This week: 2 times in 4 days

[Autist_Ostrich @Autist_Ostrich]

@UncleHotep All the "unbiased" people do hate Candace lol it takes .05 seconds to realize everything she's about is detached from anything resembling truth. Every one of Candace Owen's current* followers are emotionally manipulated retards

[Autist_Ostrich @Autist_Ostrich]

@RefuteThemAll @RubinReport Not remotely as retarded as Candace continues to prove daily lol