Jacob Johnson

UC Davis Animal Behavior PhD Student

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@ithurts2tweet too small for the big stage, too big for the tiny desk

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@zaraoverthinks @monkeyvellian damn time to bring Dean Boyer back into the studio

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@monkeyvellian brb asking for a share of the royalties

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@t_brewbeck @delendaa_est @RortyRuby yeah you actually aren't allowed to have sex in the stacks without a works cited list

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@RortyRuby you called it!

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@ClickHole By all known laws of physics, there is no way a saxophone should be able to honk. The saxophone, however, honks anyway, because saxophones don't care what humans think is impossible

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

my b

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

Just butchered a prayer in Old Norse and sacrificed an orange to Odin Allfather to help Michigan win this game
What are YOU doing to help the team??

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

the cdc just announced that the 5-second rule has officially been changed to the 10-second rule

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@wickglyph Thanks so much for your awesome talk and for playing dnd with us!

[The Ethogram @TheEthogram]

Last talk of today is by Alice Michel & @Average_Johnson , ABGG PhD students
on the effect of wildfires on animal social behavior 🔥🔥🔥🔥

#ABGGseminar #wildfire #ABGGflashtalk #ucdavis #research #animalbehavior #scicomm
@ucdavis
@ucdavisbiology

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

A lot of becoming an adult has been learning how to idiot-proof myself

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@lolennui why is movie dialogue sometimes barely audible but footsteps and the rustling of clothing come out at the volume of a jet engine?

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@irelandve Do INFPs cast spells or do they fight with weapons?

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

fuck a myers-briggs test, what d&d class are you?

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@LilBoFLO scientists have spent decades trying to understand the phenomenon known in textbooks as "the big sad" :/

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

When I was in high school, I knew this would be the future we'd find ourselves in, and it's fully here. Now, it's gonna be a race for all life, human or otherwise, to adapt

[EDF @EnvDefenseFund]

The planet is warming even faster than previously thought, according to a bombshell report issued by the #IPCC. That means we are risk of even more devastating impacts, including stronger and more frequent heat waves, wildfires, and hurricanes.

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

@EmilyWiest 10 limbs>>>>> 4 limbs

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

killin all the fruit flies in my house, call that gnatural selection

[Jacob Johnson @Average_Johnson]

make no mistake. he will have your fry