Gavin Wright

[Joe Biden @JoeBiden]

https://t.co/TtWm3i4eaq.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

You have up to 12 months to change your baby's name without requiring a court order. Your parents had a full year trial period to save you from 20 years of running out of space on the scantron.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

A quick finger seizure on the keyboard to make sure spell check is still checking

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

My lawyer is so bad he has a refund policy

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

When the water cooler gets low enough everyone suddenly hates drinking water because they don't want to be responsible for changing it

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

There's an episode of "Smart Guy" where T.J's brother buys a car for $100. As a child with no concept of money I thought his dad was mad because it was so expensive.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

[Ctrl + s]... Better save again just to be sure. [Ctrl + s][Ctrl + s][Ctrl + s]

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

Let's be honest. We all panic a little when the solution isn't on Stack Overflow.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

Snow cones are the golf of dessert. Great for a casual day in the sun but I'll never call it a real dessert.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

Netflix's earning statement releases today. If you're super confident that they aren't spending more on producing exclusives than the amount they're gaining with new subscriptions then it could pay off to be risky and buy now. I'm not that confident.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

If life had a studio audience we'd always know when someone was being sarcastic

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

At some point in history someone ripped an ugly brown lump out of the dirt, decided it was a good idea to take a bite out it, and called it a potato.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

Wal-Mart: Come for the convenience. Stay because you're stuck in one of the two open lanes.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

I don't think it's fair that I have to pay the $30 bank fine when the embezzlement check bounces

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

There are 4 steps to bench pressing:
1) Getting set
2) Lifting off
3) "Oh dear god this is too much weight I'm about to die"
4) Re-racking and acting like your shoulder hurts

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

If an alien made an artist's recreation of a human based on a skeleton there's a 0% chance they'd draw the eyebrows

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

Using hummus instead of dip is a healthier option. Until you eat half the container with Fritos in one sitting.

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

The only thing worse than seeing a massive spider in your room is not seeing where it scampered off to

[Gavin Wright @Avogavo]

I was gone for 2 hours. I came back and all the carpet in my apartment building is gone. I have no idea why.

[Scott Kelly @StationCDRKelly]

My first #sunset on #Earth in #Norway on my way home! #YearInSpace