B. Patrick Malloy

Author of two books you haven't read. I was spanked by Grover Cleveland on two non-consecutive occasions.

[B. Patrick Malloy @BPatrickMalloy]

My first ever #photoshop. I'm very proud of it, see if you can spot the changes I've made.

[AlphaFox @alphafox]

Man runs 20 miles on salvia: 😂

[SportsCenter @SportsCenter]

Edward Norton talking to himself at the USA-Türkiye game 😅

[Fiona Small @FionaSmall]

A Catholic leading the UK

[l feII in Dior @LIRIO_AG]

“Ay no, tarjeta gris otra vez”.

[Chivo Infante @chivoinmortal]

Maradona si hubieran existido las pausas de hidratación en México 86.

[Scott Barber @thescottbarber]

Thankfully no treaty signed at Versailles has ever created further problems.

[Remnicore @Remnicore_]

🧵 Andor recast using registered sex offenders from my state:

1. Cassian Andor

[Cameron 🇺🇸 🗽🦅 @CameronCorduroy]

>renames it to the Department of War
>names himself the Secretary of War
>fights one war
>loses

[Criminalsimpsons @Criminalsimpson]

Ambassador Henry Mwabwetumba of the Ivory Coast writes:

[campbell g @rodeoman]

“It was, Marge, admit it”

[the butthole genie @VSBassoon]

Kicked out of the pub for yelling "this is for Gallipoli you oriental fuck" at a man who was, in hindsight, Italian

[rosh @funny_turd]

gave me that chills that apology 😭

[we cry together to pregnant pussy🏳️‍⚧️ @durje666]

This app used to have advertisers lmao

[Gunther Fehlinger-Jahn @GunterFehlinger]

Irish are disgusting people

[ProletarianOtter🔻 @ProleOtter]

White south african, saying this? Whoda thunk it

[Chuck Bass @ChuckFBass]

The front row of karaoke when I crush Niggas in Paris.

[ESPN Insights @ESPNInsights]

"If we lose this game, I'll walk back to Pittsburgh."

On this date in 1989, Pirates broadcaster Jim Rooker made that promise after Pittsburgh scored 10 runs in the 1st inning.

The Pirates lost 15-11.

And Rooker actually walked the 300+ miles back to Pittsburgh.

🎥: @MLB

[WARHORSE @JPWARHORSE]

When I see a little charcuterie board at the party