We Don't Care

A useless bunch of aerosols who don't give a pschitt about your broadband problems. Support for British Terrorcoms. (Parody Account. Of course. Or is it?)

[atpenas @atpenas]

Given up with #infinity from @btbusiness should have looked at tweets from @btcarenot first 7 missed appts took less time to find #BinLaden

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Did You Know? The first ever broadband bit was sent 50 years ago. Bandwidth: 0.000003bps. Today we have doubled that. http://t.co/1Te4UI7r

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

News: We plan to include mobile calls in our pricing plans so your voice communications can be conducted extremely slowly too.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Did You Know? We call it 'broadband' because broadly speaking it has bandwidth. Just not very much.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Current broadband failure is not - repeat is not - related to the ongoing alien invasion. Oops. We said too much.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

If you are having broadband troubles, try first troubleshooting step: close your eyes, stamp your feet and say 'I do belive in fairies.'

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Having speed problems with your broadband? Try our speed tips. #2: Lubricate the telephone socket with your tears of frustration.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Did You Know? A skilled telecoms engineer can install and configure ADSL2+ in under five minutes. Unfortunately none of ours are skilled.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Good news: melting snow has now thawed the internet. Bad news: it's waterlogged. Please place towels under your routers this week.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Snow and ice have frozen the bits in the tubes! We will be delivering your data by milkbottle - please thaw contents to access your email.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Service Update: Someone spilled coffee into a central router here. Internet will be jittery and irritable this evening for most of Cumbria.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

@sallyanniegally Sorry, Sally, we book appts. the way we make promises about service & repairs: with no idea if it will actually work.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

@Gjw1953 The thicker, the better, like our phone support staff!

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

It's a beautiful sunny morning here in Hyderabad. SWINDON! A beautiful sunny AFTERNOON here in Swindon. Hope your internets are not broken.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

@Gjw1953 None of our equipment provides such a useful function. It's probably stress related. Try pouring in a soothing cup of cocoa.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Remember to tweet us your broadband queries and problems. We have a highly trained team who will pick a random answer out of a box for you.

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

@Logi81 Generally we ask for online forms to be filled in, printed out & sent in the post to a random address. More likely to get a reply!

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

@Gjw1953 Fat Jim would sooner eat only 3 puddings at lunchtime than join The Evil Ones. What company offers both slow internet and trains!

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

@Logi81 We like to think the illusion of sincere human contact and a sympathetic ear is a great substitute for actual useful help!

[We Don't Care @BTCareNot]

Did You Know? An anagram of BT Broadband is: BT - A Drab Bond.