Barney

Capable in the sense that my neck can support a cape

[Barney @BarneyLile]

Ohio was named after that thing where you see a stranger waving at you, then you wave back, then realize they were waving to someone behind you.

[Barney @BarneyLile]

Gonna dive in just as soon as I learn to read @BarstoolYak @TallentSam

[Barney @BarneyLile]

Congrats on 10 years @PardonMyTake @BarstoolBigCat @PFTCommenter

PMT will always be my favorite sweatshirt. I may not wear it as much as I used to but nothing hits like the familiar comfort of a favorite sweatshirt. Here’s to ten more.

[Bob Golen @BobGolen]

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

[Barney @BarneyLile]

People who love Thanksgiving complain how Christmas forced its way into November and taken over, but an unwanted takeover is kinda what Thanksgiving is all about

[Annie Way @Anniewritess]

God, I hate when the cure for something turns out to be diet and exercise.

[kim @KimmyMonte]

bill nye’s full name is william new years eve

[jaylin @jackshousewifee]

everyone and their mom is at stevie nicks tn

[King Glouis XI @king_glouis_XI]

i vary wildly between thinking im a massive boring piece of shit and thinking im the coolest most interesting person to ever live

[Barney @BarneyLile]

@Skoog That’s why I keep my phone on me at all times

[paddle @ipaddlearound]

invented something called “wet numbers” today. but u guys probly wouldnt be into something like that would u?

[Barney @BarneyLile]

Excited for the tastemakers to decide that extremely wrinkled clothes are in

[Barney @BarneyLile]

@EthanOpia_

[iain @ACartoonCat]

Really mean guy at the golf course called me a 4 and then hit me with his golf ball :(

[Barney @BarneyLile]

Hyperbole makes me want to gouge out my eyes and light myself on fire.

[Barney @BarneyLile]

@JeffDLowe love the dozen. I’d like to be apart of the survey if needed. Appreciate the show and the work.

[Barney @BarneyLile]

@Under1kContest Thank you!!

[Barney @BarneyLile]

People who love Thanksgiving complain how Christmas forced its way into November and taken over, but an unwanted takeover is kinda what Thanksgiving is all about

[Barney @BarneyLile]

People who love Thanksgiving complain how Christmas forced its way into November and taken over, but an unwanted takeover is kinda what Thanksgiving is all about

[Barney @BarneyLile]

My Grandparents spent every day together for 62 years. My grandfather passed away and moments later my grandmother did as well. It was a murder-suicide but still adorable

[Barney @BarneyLile]

Powerball must be getting up there cuz lots of people at the gas station in pajamas

[Barney @BarneyLile]

I remember when Taylor Swift just meant getting your pants hemmed in a timely fashion