Diary From Behind The Bar

Stories of awe, amazement, horror and humor straight from your bartender. 🍺🍻🍸🍹🍷

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

I had a woman ask me to remake her water because I put a straw in it. I took the straw out, and she asked me to REMAKE it again. #shitwhitepeopledo

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Don't come into my bar and ask if I am open. Trust me, I'll make it VERY clear if I am not open.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

"Can I please have a Broken Down Golfcart?"
"What the fuck is that!?"

#justorderwhiskey

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

@KrustyCusty I had a girl sit at my bar and in the middle of eating her lunch she asked me if she could go to the bathroom. This isn't a classroom.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

I have two ladies sitting at my bar who asked me to turn the music down so they could talk. Now they're literally comparing stories about when they've complained to managers in retail settings. I kind of want to forfeit my tip and make their experience here terrible.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Just had a guy order a burger, super specially, then after sending the order and charging his card, he changed his mind. I voided everything and then he ordered something else. Then he ate his fries with a knife and fork and tipped one dollar.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Dude strolls into my bar looking very concerned: "Hello I was here on Wednesday" [a very rainy day] "and I think I left my umbrella here"
Me: "hahahahahahaha"

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Guy at bar: "hi, I'll have a strawberry daiquiri."
Me: "hahahahahahahahahahaha"

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Don't come in and ask if we're open. Trust me, if we weren't, I'd make it perfectly clear.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

When you have a Full House in fake IDs.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Thanks!

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

We don't sell any of this.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

I promise, I'll have a ton of negative posts extremely soon, but #northeastern won tonight, and we were totally bumpin, and someone blessed us with a $500 #tipsforjesus 💕💕💕LOVE YOU ALL

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

"Can I have a jager bomb with tequila?"
"With tequila instead of the jager and the redbull on the side?"
"No, tequila and jager together"
"That's fucking disgusting, no."

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

Please do not go into any establishment with tipped employees during downtime and yell "WHERE IS EVERYBODY?" Listen, we know it's dead. Our pockets are crying. Please don't rub it in. #ThingsWhitePeopleDo

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

"Is your dart board functional? Like, can I use it?"

No it's just a tacky bar decoration GTFOH.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

"The green tea shot is like, life changing."

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

"The green tea shot is good for me because of the tea."

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

I get great pleasure out of embarrassing people that are clearly on first dates when they try to sound extra smart at my bar.

[Diary From Behind The Bar @BarstoolDiary]

#thingswhitepeoplelove walking into a quiet bar and shouting WHERE IS EVERYBODY?