Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺

UK professional 🦇 ecologist / conservationist based in the Midlands, usually accompanied by rogue flat-coated (non) retriever 🐺 Most views are his 🐾

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@NFFC The decisions were a disgrace but we were also shite, lacking in quality and intensity. Stop blaming the officials and try harder on the pitch ffs

[CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism]

A British writer penned the best description of Donald Trump I’ve ever read:

“Why do some British people not like Donald Trump?”

A few things spring to mind. Trump lacks certain qualities which the British traditionally esteem. For instance, he has no class, no charm, no coolness, no credibility, no compassion, no wit, no warmth, no wisdom, no subtlety, no sensitivity, no self-awareness, no humility, no honour and no grace – all qualities, funnily enough, with which his predecessor Mr. Obama was generously blessed. So for us, the stark contrast does rather throw Trump’s limitations into embarrassingly sharp relief.

Plus, we like a laugh. And while Trump may be laughable, he has never once said anything wry, witty or even faintly amusing – not once, ever. I don’t say that rhetorically, I mean it quite literally: not once, not ever. And that fact is particularly disturbing to the British sensibility – for us, to lack humour is almost inhuman. But with Trump, it’s a fact. He doesn’t even seem to understand what a joke is – his idea of a joke is a crass comment, an illiterate insult, a casual act of cruelty.

Trump is a troll. And like all trolls, he is never funny and he never laughs; he only crows or jeers. And scarily, he doesn’t just talk in crude, witless insults – he actually thinks in them. His mind is a simple bot-like algorithm of petty prejudices and knee-jerk nastiness.

There is never any under-layer of irony, complexity, nuance or depth. It’s all surface. Some Americans might see this as refreshingly upfront. Well, we don’t. We see it as having no inner world, no soul. And in Britain we traditionally side with David, not Goliath. All our heroes are plucky underdogs: Robin Hood, Dick Whittington, Oliver Twist. Trump is neither plucky, nor an underdog. He is the exact opposite of that. He’s not even a spoiled rich-boy, or a greedy fat-cat. He’s more a fat white slug. A Jabba the Hutt of privilege.

And worse, he is that most unforgivable of all things to the British: a bully. That is, except when he is among bullies; then he suddenly transforms into a snivelling sidekick instead. There are unspoken rules to this stuff – the Queensberry rules of basic decency – and he breaks them all. He punches downwards – which a gentleman should, would, could never do – and every blow he aims is below the belt. He particularly likes to kick the vulnerable or voiceless – and he kicks them when they are down.

So the fact that a significant minority – perhaps a third – of Americans look at what he does, listen to what he says, and then think ‘Yeah, he seems like my kind of guy’ is a matter of some confusion and no little distress to British people, given that:

• Americans are supposed to be nicer than us, and mostly are.

• You don’t need a particularly keen eye for detail to spot a few flaws in the man.

This last point is what especially confuses and dismays British people, and many other people too; his faults seem pretty bloody hard to miss. After all, it’s impossible to read a single tweet, or hear him speak a sentence or two, without staring deep into the abyss. He turns being artless into an art form; he is a Picasso of pettiness; a Shakespeare of shit. His faults are fractal: even his flaws have flaws, and so on ad infinitum. God knows there have always been stupid people in the world, and plenty of nasty people too. But rarely has stupidity been so nasty, or nastiness so stupid. He makes Nixon look trustworthy and George W look smart. In fact, if Frankenstein decided to make a monster assembled entirely from human flaws – he would make a Trump.

And a remorseful Doctor Frankenstein would clutch out big clumpfuls of hair and scream in anguish: ‘My God… what… have… I… created?' If being a twat was a TV show, Trump would be the boxed set.”

-Nate White

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@MichaelWarbur17 I love thee Kes

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@GeoffNorcott @marknelsoncomic Darth theyder

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@TeslaOwnersUK A thousand yes’s

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@PRSangan @_BCT_ @Mammal_Society Gutted 😢

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@SzilardBux

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@elonmusk will there ever be a Ludicrous mode for the Model Y Performance? 👌🏻😶‍🌫️🐆

[EPL Bible @EPLBible]

Richarlison vs Nottingham Forest

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@chjones9 @ugomonye Thanks Chris. Yes think I agree. It certainly looks brutal at normal speed, and no obvious arm wrap, but in order to have the desired try-saving effect running at that pace any arm wrap would be a token gesture anyway.

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@chjones9 Any thoughts from you and / or @ugomonye on the recent Koroibete tackle v South Africa? Interested to hear your thoughts.

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@TomKitchng @Chris_bats @opwall @harteltibor @adsandor @FundatiaADEPT @BatsinChurches @_BCT_ @BatPatWright Also Flora and Fauna International (Henry Rees) work extensively in Romania. https://t.co/wkudqB1iQD

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@TomKitchng @Chris_bats @opwall @harteltibor @adsandor @FundatiaADEPT @BatsinChurches @_BCT_ @BatPatWright Have you been in touch with @SzilardBux of the CBRC (https://t.co/X58LrLaoRp). He may be willing to collaborate given you’re in their backyard. The CBRC works with some churches already but their focus is often on the larger cave colonies because resources are tight.

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

What a day!! 🌳⚽️🔴 @NFFC @NFFC_live @NFFCTrust

[Sky Bet @SkyBet]

🔊 SOUND ON 🔊

Steve Cooper has two very important messages for his @NFFC players 👊👏 #StepUp #NFFC

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

Nice to be out bat trapping again in the world famous @RSPBSherwood Forest last night. 🦇😊🌳 #bats @_BCT_

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@gerrygcarter Peersonic

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@gerrygcarter Binary Acoustics Technology

[Matt Cook🦇🐾🐺 @BatMatt20]

@BatPatWright @opwall @SzilardBux