BCPS Satire

Pure comedy & satire for BCPS. All tweets, opinions & comments are strictly satirical and are not official policy or stance of BCPS staff, students or reps

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

“Schools scheduling a final exam on the last day of school is the equivalent of that ONE teacher who asks questions at the end of the staff meeting”~

maybe Mark Twain

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

I don’t care who you are, you’ll never convince us that none of those kids are as happy as that 1 teacher and we will die on that mountain 🤔

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Not to be outdone by @Jesse_Bacon and the @bcpsky creating their own dedicated police department, JCPS reinvents their own dedicated special police force

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Apparently @Jesse_Bacon won a paper -rock- scissors contest with the Archdiocese of Louisville and was able to make May 28 even more exciting than just last day of school

Bullitt Central vs Bullitt East Regional final now on Thursday 5:30pm

(followed by Trinity vs St.X)

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

@Jesse_Bacon is all smiles as he asks @bcpsky for raise knowing 6th region baseball title will come back to Bullitt County ;
Quoted saying “it’s bullitt central vs bullitt east …either way … Bullitt County wins!!!

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

For some students, trying to find that 1 missing assignment from 8 weeks ago in their backpack is the equivalent of trying to locate the missing 10mm socket

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

In an effort to keep students engaged for the last 6 days of school, @bcpsky announces they will tell students due to “ calculation error” there’s actually 25 more days of school left

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

It’s that time of year again…

The annual “what can I do to get my grade up with 6 days of school left” marathon !!

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Seems legit

[Paul Miles @PaulMiles840]

NEW | The House of Representatives has given final approval to a bill that designates the indigo milk cap as the official state mushroom of Kentucky. The measure now goes to Governor Beshear's desk for his signature.

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

In a recent survey of @bcpsky parents & students, we have discovered that when it comes to consistency and operational reliability, McDonald’s Ice Cream machines have a more favorable rating than the bathrooms at Bullitt East High School. @Jesse_Bacon finds this “troubling”

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Apparently @Jesse_Bacon saw his shadow today which could mean either 6 more weeks of NTI/Snow days….
Or 6 weeks of UK basketball causing your blood pressure to escalate.

We’re not sure which

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Hear us out….
@Jesse_Bacon calls off schools for @bcpsky on Friday….

@KentuckyMBB beats Arkansas the next day…

Bacon is a well known UK fan…

We’re not saying this is a coincidence

We’re just making data-driven suggestions

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

@Jesse_Bacon considering closing school on Friday & used as a day of remembrance in honor of all the fallen mailboxes who lost their lives to the Bullitt County snow plow crews these last few days. 🫡

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

No, it’s not our job to teach your children to not eat yellow snow. We have real standards to meet.

Send them to JCPS for that kind of stuff

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

@Jesse_Bacon Well done, sir!

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

“Somebody do a wellness check on @Jesse_Bacon
And by wellness check we mean ask him to hurry up and make a decision on Friday”

(Overheard at the Dollar General)

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Did you attend a JCPS school in the 2000’s??? Then you may be entitled to compensation …

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

@JCPS_PR Morgan & Morgan called….they’d like a word because you may entitled to compensation

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

Unofficial & unverified conversation between Pioneer reporter and @Jesse_Bacon :
“Mr Bacon…how many people do you consult before making a decision on closing schools or using an NTI day?”

Bacon:

[BCPS Satire @BcpsSatire]

All of Bullitt County right now after @Jesse_Bacon ‘s decision to close schools on Monday was announced nearly 15 hours ahead of normal …