Beanbutt and Odes

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Recently discovered how to make yogurt in the instant pot. Amazing.
This weekend I ordered nut milk bags.
It’s okay, Amazon. I’m just as uncomfortable as you are.

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

@kathleenmadigan hubs got me tix to see your show in Mpls on Sat and I cannot WAIT to see your new stuff. Open bar and bonfires at our house all weekend if you’re missing a home-cooked. Not even joking. Road living is exhausting and we get it.

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

In addition to walking in on mom and dad’s ‘special time’, we can probably add walking in on mom emptying her @TheDivaCup to the list of shit our kids will talk about in therapy someday.
#carrie

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Conversation with Bean this morning...
“Oh no, Mama! The window is DIRTY!!”
“No sweetheart. That’s just condensation. It’s moisture, like when the bathroom mirror gets all steamed up after our showers. Can you say ‘con-den-say-shen’?”
“Cunt-vacation.”

... close enough.

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Am I the only one who saves empty toilet paper rolls so my kid can play 'robot arms'? #momlife

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

My kid knows how to Friday. #dancingbaby #adorable #momlife #noteventwoyet

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

@beardedpete1978 there should be a clown somewhere at the end of that tunnel. Ick.

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Uncle B? Can we please stay with you? I don't want to go to uncle Don's house. He insults me and hates all of my friends. #ElectionResults

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Also- shopping for Halloween candy whilst PMSing isn't advised. Sorry kids, you're all getting my cravings this year. #momlife

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

I used to light pretty candles to enjoy the good smells. Now I light pretty candles to cover up the gross ones. #momlife

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Singing ABC's, I got distracted and stopped singing right after 'E'. Baby quietly whispers 'F?' #noteventwo #proudmommy #momlife

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Best workout I've had in ages-- greased pig wrestling. AKA solo-parenting a pool trip. #momlife

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Picking your nose and trying to feed it to me doesn't exactly define the word 'sharing', kiddo. Thanks, though. #momlife

[Beanbutt and Odes @Beanbuttandodes]

Bean drops pants and brings me this book. "I don't know kid. Could have been anybody."