Chris Beaumont

Forgot to bring extra plutonium and now I'm stuck here. One pellet, one trip...

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Any excuse to post this.

https://t.co/WISnsCQJpj

[hyper mega bummer boy @danceyrselfdean]

can't think of a single cover of a Beatles song that is better than the original

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Submitting to the 'can be sung to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song' collection. Bagel Power!

[Linda Traitors' Gud Night's Sleep @sympathy_simm]

Me on any video game that requires stealth #TheTraitors #TheTraitorsUK

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

@currys Scrooged.
#CurrysPurpleFriday

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

@mooeycatrooie @jamerz1826 @nazzobetweeting Ah, the elusive Cockatoodle Poo. 😄

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Me when my girlfriend gets home and asks why I haven't done the quantum computing yet.

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Quantum computing is best done in the permanently shadowed craters on the Moon

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Submitting to the 'can be sung to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song' collection. Bagel Power!

[Chris Lowndes 🇺🇦🕊️🇬🇱 @chrislowndes]

As we all look back at #LiveAid40, I would like to tell the story of my experience as a 20yo attending the Wembley show on 13 July 1985. These are never-before seen photos, taken on my Canon A1 with a 50mm lens from my position centre front in the crowd

🧵

[Chase Passive Income @chasedownleads]

"Dad, I'm thirsty"

"Go buy a drink from the vending machine in the kitchen"

Guess who owns the vending machine

Passive income is too easy

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

The biggest issue about this heat at night is waking up sweaty. That's what I call her anyway.

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

@pauleagles All I want is to drink tea, eat toast, and resume my little program for a few minutes to finally escape the dreck of the working week. Can't even have that. I'm not going to sit and watch something now the tea and toast is finished. Madness. Still, they got their (muted) ad views

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Is there a known glitch in the Channel 4 app where it only plays adverts? Resumed watching something & it started instantly, rewound a few minutes to catch up again & ads kicked in. Finished tea & toast and they were still running. Restarted entire console and it's still just ads

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

@tinycharlotte72 I rewound past a couple of the ad break lines, so maybe it stacks them for each one you cross. 😄 It finally kicked in to the program after about 10 minutes... to the point I tried to rewind from. 🤦

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

FYI, if you grab a pot of M&S or Waitrose hummus they still have the plastic lids, and they fit the Tesco and Sainsburys equivalents that now have film instead. Sincerely, a hummus fiend who gets it wherever he can.

[Anon Opin. @anon_opin]

Whoever made the executive decision that all coleslaws, dips and the like should no longer have proper lids, only a peel back plastic film, deserves a firm kick in the bollocks.

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

I swear after playing computer games on controllers with triggers and shoulder buttons for more than two decades, I could still not hand on heart say which was R1 and which was R2. Nor will I ever learn. Just bumbling through games quickdrawing pistols instead of grabbing ropes.

[hikerdelic @hikerdelic]

Retweet for a chance to win this
@hikerdelic
@shedseven
collab tee.

This t-shirt could be yours. Or maybe you'll end up chasing rainbows. 😄

On pre-sale now at https://t.co/OHrZLHgWtn, but only until Sunday night. We'll choose a winner 48 hours from now.

[hikerdelic @hikerdelic]

Retweet for a chance to win this @hikerdelic @shedseven collaborative jacket.

On pre-sale now at https://t.co/OHrZLHgWtn, but only until Sunday night.

We'll choose a winner 48 hours from now.

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Pedantic as I am, I was not about to entertain the semantics of the whole bell/clock tower situation to a stranger at night.

[Chris Beaumont @Belmit]

Props to the guy who, at 11pm in Westminster as I was walking past Big Ben, came up to me, pointed, and said 'is that Big Ben?'.