Ben Piatkowski

Making his Twitter debut (I haven’t changed my bio since 2013)

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

Did you know my tweets were rated highest in initial quality for the last 4 years by JD Power and Associates, more times than Chevy. Humbled.

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

The equivalent on Tiger Woods walking to the first tee at Augusta National. Let the man eat

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

Just when I thought today couldn’t be any worse after that Bills loss, I see a commercial for Nickelback’s new CD.

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

Does Sam Martin put butter on the ball before he punts it?

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

The sad thing is in 15 years the NFL will probably become a glorified version of two hand touch just like the Pro Bowl. Hockey has already gone soft in the last 10 years. Extreme Ironing and Cheese Rolling are the only two sports that excite me now.

[Lt Gen Joshua Allen @LtGen_Allen17]

I presume news has reached town. I, too, lie downhearted.

Bottom fact, never mind duration … one day, under my command, we will triumph. We carry on — youthful and spirited. Please share my dispatch throughout the homeland.

- 𝙻𝚝. 𝙶𝚎𝚗. 𝙹𝚘𝚜𝚑𝚞𝚊 𝙿. 𝙰𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

I love how there’s commercials about knowing your limits and controlling your online sports bettting, but then you got Caesar screaming every other commercial and FanDuel offering a risk free $1,000 bet. Hilarious

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

Just heard that the NFL will be putting 20 space heaters every ten yards directly on the field. I’m just hoping all the extensions cords don’t become a tripping hazard. Go bills!

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@CMiltonT2 Fair enough 😂

[Atlanta Thrashers @NotThrashers]

Thrashers claim forward Evander Kane off waivers.

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

I still wanted the Sabres to trade Eichel for Chara straight up with the Islanders, but the final deal with Vegas is alright.

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@KatPoster I usually stop at 6, but you do you

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

Had a dream last night that I was drinking Blue Light but it came in a Capri Sun like pouch. I was then handing them out to the moving people that were delivering a mattress to my house. What a banger of a dream!

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@Sam_Rotella @nitrostolics @erad26 @DerekKramer49 @JosiahDLeRoy @NickRenkas You sayin’ my gloves stink or something Sam?

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@Sam_Rotella Ah I see, I see. Lol

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@Sam_Rotella Just buy EA Play for $30 a year and get every EA game older than 6 months for free

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@M_Bennz And we didn’t even know! All the flack Bono got for it too

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

Anytime I stream music on my phone my battery dies like 5 times as fast. The only clear answer is that the music is so fire that it heats up the battery and uses more charge.

[Ben Piatkowski @BenJermane8]

@M_Bennz Is that why that free U2 album from 2014 still shows up in my iCloud?

[Shooter McGavin @ShooterMcGavin]

Never forget when Larson pulled a 9 iron from Shooter’s bag and he was applauded and Shooter was laughed at. How times have changed.