Ben Maras

Freelance journalist, PDX native, and the leading expert on the Dunning-Kruger effect. DMs open, or [email protected]. Contact for Signal / Telegram.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

… the Aristocrats!

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@VaughnParignon @KATUNews You know, if you bothered to do the bare minimum and click on the picture, you’d very quickly realize that this was in Georgia, not Oregon.

But then again I guess your feelings don’t care about facts.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

A purely coincidental number, obviously.

(Trigger warning: that face)

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@KATUNews Full “of” frozen shrimp, not full “off.”

Copy editors are important.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@Johnnthelefty @KATUNews The headline (which overlayed onto the photo) says what the protest was about, as does the first graf. The fourth and fifth sentences say that there was a lane left open, and talks to a protestor about people’s concerns around shutting down traffic.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

… all legal currency should actually just have images of this guy.
2/2

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

Conservatives when they don’t want to bake a gay wedding cake: “It’s our right to refuse service for any reason.”

Conservatives when a business doesn’t want to handle their ass pennies: “This is literally fascism.”

[iamyesyouareno @iamyesyouareno]

Man at dystopian cashless store demands they take his money.

And he is absolutely right.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

All snark aside: it’s kind of sad the way culture wars ruin everything, because I actually think there’s a very interesting and useful conversation to he had about monetary policy and the nature of currency as a storer of value vs accounting mechanism and the fact that … 1/2

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@cjciaramella @matthewwalther My favorite part is the recipes that would start perfectly normal and end with “mix with mayonnaise,!pour into jello mold and set with unflavored gelatin.”

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

This is hands down the most sane and reasonable hot take I’ve seen on Twitter this morning.

[National Park Service @NatlParkService]

Most squirrel bites originate at the front, or “bitey end,” of the squirrel.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@cjciaramella Glenn is like Schrödinger’s Pundit.

Whenever he Tweets, I know it’s either going to be remarkably prescient or worthy of being the free space on Shitty Hot Take Bingo.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

To anyone who works at the Pentagon:

I’ll pay you like, $5 to use this as the bumper music for the press conference about whatever was just shot down over Lake Huron. https://t.co/1NSG9AEqCw

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@cjciaramella Bottom left has the most aerodynamic facial hair, but bottom right would be the best if they were only turning left.

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@cjciaramella This is like a rejected Will Farrell sketch where the SNL people spent the whole time pinching the bridges of their noses and saying “Yeah … you gotta tone it back. This one is a bit much, even for you.”

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@cjciaramella

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

I just want to point out that if you scrub to the exact right point around 1:05, the audio clearly says “anus attack yesterday.” I can’t wait to hear what the QAnon people read into it.

[Acyn @Acyn]

Wow these outtakes didn’t disappoint

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@YachtRockSmooth Yeah, grown ups always prefer the more classy and historically accurate “assmillinery.”

[Ben Maras @BenMaras]

@CMcCurdyPDX Everyone who went there during the late ‘00s knows that the preferred nomenclature is “UC Eugene.”