Ben Solomon

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

Temporarily forgot the name of One Battle After Another and had to call it “Much Ado About Lots of Battles”

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

my wife just opened our fridge, burped into it, then closed the door and walked away

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

had a dream last night where I was taking a college course taught by michael fassbender but he stopped teaching the course because he went insane trying to invent the world’s greatest drum beat

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

democracy dies in darkness

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

@kneelingbus thanks!

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

can confirm

[Drew Austin @kneelingbus]

dudes will literally be 39 years old

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

@kneelingbus

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

@kneelingbus they should make a website that screams in pain when you log in

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

Overheard a guy ordering pasta ask the waitress “Can you tell me which ones are noodles and which ones are shapes?”

[NBC Chicago @nbcchicago]

A Chicago Bar Will Soon Serve an $800 Mai Tai. Here's What It Includes https://t.co/w7akdF2WP4

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

They Gave A BAFTA To The Kirby They Gave A Gun To https://t.co/Y8zZPsuwu4

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

They Made A Plushie Of The Kirby They Gave A Gun To https://t.co/CgskJetJfp

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

apes together are lowkey goated when being strong is the vibe

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

Forget EGOT. I’m going for a CHONK:

Clio
Heisman Trophy
Oscar
Nebula
Kids’ Choice Award

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

useful info

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

@kneelingbus unfortunately, if you die while buying real estate to build a VR arcade, you die in real life

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

@TheScorwin this is going to haunt my nightmares

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

All girl cats are Nancy Sinatra and all boy cats are Bugs Bunny and I will not be taking questions

[Ben Solomon @BenSolomon]

sorry but if Uber is sending you a Tesla the app should give you detailed instructions on how to operate the door handles