DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus)

Some guy, dad, former archaeologist,
Marylander, multitudes.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

5yo: I'm better at making messes than cleaning them up.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

I joined Twitter 3 and a half years ago to read funny parenting tweets and post funny things my son said. But time to try the other platform. Go follow BaltimoreOctopus over there.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

7yo: Can we have a Thanksgiving dinner tonight?
[one week before Thanksgiving]

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@sarah1mc

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@BBCWorld So MAGAs say a trans man is required to use the women's room, and a trans woman is required to use the men's room. Claim a trans man is really a woman. So women and girls are required to share their bathroom with someone who by all outward appearances is a man.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@AdamParkhomenko

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@RodLacroix Started Disney+ to watch The Mandalorian.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@KneelB4Boston The funk soul brother

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@aquariusdays The funk soul brother

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@moad2712

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@HowThingsWork_ She says it's cold outside and she hands me my raincoat.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@jennasaysquoi

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@LadyJustice4512 They have proms these days for people in their late 20s?

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@MovieHooligan

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

It's great that the Ghostbusters saved the day, but I'd be more interested in learning how bustin' makes them FEEL.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@AP They should probably work on their defense instead of just waiting for it to improve.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

Some dad brings his little girl to my door on Halloween, maybe 3 years old.

Dad: Can you say trick or treat?
Girl: ...
Me: Do you want some candy?
Girl: No.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@AnAngryOpossum

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

Me: [Thinking it's a little weird to have the Backstreet Boys yelling out "Am I sexual? Yeah-eah" at the elementary school movie night.]

Rick James: 🎵 She's a very kinky girl...

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@BaltimoreBanner I'm sure most people don't care about a primary for county executive, but it was disappointing to see Johnny O win when Jim Brochin seemed much better. And now Johnny O will be my congressman, I guess.

[DrBenedon (BaltimoreOctopus) @Benedon3]

@ShaneHelmsCom