squidward is an ageing conservative homosexual, probably with a catholic background. you can tell he resents spongebob for being openly femme even though he himself is a bitchy quะตenั gay guy who's too bald and poorly dressed to even be charming with it.
One of the moments Iโm happiest in life is when I can open all my neural pathways as wide as they go and talk at bewildering supersonic speeds cause it really is a unique talent I have but itโs severely rare that I ever get to use it