Benji

Yeah. I used to be in show biz. It's a bitch.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

HES DOING IT AGAIN! Why is John Stossel talking like this???

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

Most of you bastards grew up watching me but would rather follow @Obama_Dog.

Ain't THAT a bitch.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@common_squirrel WHERE?

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

Telling my agent not to book any Groundhog Day work.

Thought I'd try having some pride this year.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

HEY!!! @TomCruise I shilled your wife's movie like you asked so where's my follow!

Hollywood royalty, man.

Forever screwing the pooch.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

I like to add an extra syllable to words. Like ATH- THUH-LETE. Because I'm a bad ass-uh.

[Spider H. Goodlegs @spidergoodlegs]

@SarahPalinUSA Which Orwell book is your favorite?

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@ebertchicago Who didn't see this coming?

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@danieltosh I'm sure the people on your laugh tracks really find you funny. And the whores you pay think you're cute. *eyeroll*

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@ABC No REALLY. WHY DOES JOHN STOSSEL TALK LIKE HE'S SINGING???? MAKE IT STOP.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

WHY DOES JOHN STOSSEL TALK *THAT* WAY???

[Tom Cruise @TomCruise]

Let's show Katie the love, guys...Tweet or Re-Tweet RT www.TheRomanticsMovie.com and we'll follow you!

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

Balls are the best. Amirite ladies?

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@SarahKSilverman Or they could cancel it using a time machine and save us all the cancer it has caused. Just pitching.

[Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt]

Dear God, I love Bumbershoot. Every part of it.

[Soapbox Liberal @GPappalardo]

I have this app. on my phone I can't take off called Footprints, so I've decided to use it to keep track of all the places I've pooped.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@danieltosh Look everyone. I shit another host of a clip show. Run.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@feral_pigeon BTW. I saw a cousin of yours eating the meat off a chicken bone with its beak. WTF WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

Savages.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@common_squirrel Your corpse is gonna be my favorite toy evarrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

[Benji @Benji_the_Dog]

@theduty Sorry man. I can't be a party to someone who fucks kids. Unfollow.