donnie

i am so unwell

[salma @annehathaqay]

manspreading wife x cross-legged husband

[meg @urfriendmeg]

how long after sex is it appropriate to watch your favorite players highlights?

[audrey @phlegmme]

Choosing a good karaoke song isn’t about what other people might want to hear. Their needs should never even cross your mind

[MP Arizona☀️🏳️‍🌈💙🌵🐕🐕‍🦺🫂💦🏜🐟🌴🎙🌎🌻♍️🌊 @AzPetrich]

The fact that you can be brain dead and still be a Republican Senator is very on brand for the entire party.

[bONGO 🌹 @wariocolosseum]

wiping meta off the face of the planet is strictly a net positive for humanity

[kage @sukikage_]

there has been a british voice in my head saying “bit sad innit” for the past few weeks.

[Erntwon Gelaato @AntwonGelato]

I have to say this once every World Cup cycle: I do not agree with equal pay for the USWNT. I think we should pay the men's team less.

[cee @1ovesickkk]

sorry i only know how to be intense and passionate and insane

[donnie @Berniesbuttplug]

I’m a consultant not an ER doctor nothing is ever truly urgent and I am tired of hearing otherwise

[𝓛𝓪𝓾𝓻𝓪 ˚.🎀༘⋆ @Laura_arma_ni]

Me at work with no idea what to prioritize because everything is "urgent"

[melanie @hailtothetweet]

if u have sex with a white guy u have to
say Cock instead of dick out of respect to his culture

[𓏵 @laceddotz]

what’s the point of having boobs if nobody six seven them

[dan @Dansplainer]

one of the first things they teach you in basketball school is do not blow a 30 point lead in the nba finals

[trash jones @jzux]

me: i don’t think you were supposed to cut my arms and legs off

AI doctor: you’re absolutely right to push back. you are bleeding out

[fluttershy @hwrtyed]

i will serve cunt again just give me a minute

[donnie @Berniesbuttplug]

@Spotify Spotify is soggy balls anyway I’m publicly announcing my intention to switch to @AppleMusic full time at the end of the month

[donnie @Berniesbuttplug]

Taking to the internet to complain about the bullshit @Ticketmaster system yet again tell me why after 30 minutes in a glitchy ass queue fighting off bot accusations I get in and phoebe tickets were sold out

[donnie @Berniesbuttplug]

And you know what idk wtf @Spotify fan first presale is but if this ain’t fan behavior (and a symptom of depression) then idk what is

[pablo @paulderokha]

at the park and thinking we need to talk more about how inconsiderate families with young children are to weed smokers

[hani @crucifynisis]

do i weird you out or have i weirded you in