Bert Swattermain

A mind like an orchestra falling down an infinite concrete staircase. I only follow people I find interesting, funny or a little strange. Him/Hmmm/It/that

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@GigglingGanon If a woman feels uncomfortable with you, a man, video recording her, fuck what your “legal rights” are, to prove a point of law that has already been proven to exhaustion, human decency trumps your pathetic dweeb “rights”. Wise up to yourself you sad act.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@elonmusk You first.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@jjvibe

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@WhiteHouse @theJeremyVine Isn’t the guy on our left the brother of that guy who hung around at noted paedo Epstein’s with the guy on the right?

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@WhiteHouse @theJeremyVine One king, one oaf.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@trussliz This Celt reckons that you should get your Anglo Saxon arse in the sea, whence your ancestors came, illegally, by the boatload.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@3YearLetterman @piersmorgan @PierceBrosnan @BADNUK @Poundland @GunnerStockton @MrBean @GuyFieri @littlecaesars @lenadunham @Whitesnake Troll on muppet.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@RealJamesWoods American toddlers have killed more Americans, with legally held guns within the domestic household, than all of the terrorists worldwide combined. And UK children don’t have to do “active shooter drills” in case a middle aged white guy with an AR15 comes to school to murder them.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@3YearLetterman @motleytoon1 @coachbrucepearl @PearlJam Okay then there dumbass, I’ll speak ‘Murican y’all. Them thar ew-row-peans is usin’ the goddam metric system. That’s the price per litre y’all, not per gallon. Ya unnerstan’ now?!
Go and read some Chaucer (1343-1400), the progenitor of the nascent English language. 🙄

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@GaryPetersonUSA Which Lord?

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

As #Easter Sunday messages go, it’s unusual, to say the least. What is #Christian #America saying about this latest obscenity from #Trump?

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@elonmusk @konstructivizm You’ve posted 4 leaf clovers, which have nothing to do with St Patrick or The Irish. You should have posted 3 leaf shamrock, which have everything to do with St Patrick & The Irish. ☘️ 3 leaves, not 🍀4. When you’re culturally appropriating, do it properly.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@herotimeszero A carrier bag full of nine day old blancmange.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@Matt_Pinner @BrotherLeeLuv Quorthon The Destroyer!

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@BBCNews Every single one of these 100 women should be alive & unharmed today. Every single case is a horrible tragedy, which should not have happened.

Every single one of the estimated 5,110 UK men who died by suicide in 2025 should be alive & unharmed today. Every case is a tragedy.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@vxylily No. I hold the door open, regardless of who is behind me.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@Jacob_Rees_Mogg If their visitors are potentially breaking the law again, then video them, in the likely prospect that they will break it again.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@SandyofSuffolk Easter eggs are Halal.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@MbarkCherguia La Giocondo.

[Bert Swattermain @BertSwattermain]

@GuillermElodie A traitor, a grifter, a cynical manipulator of the ignorant. An emulator of Joseph Goebbels. A greedy recipient of EU money and now UK taxpayer money. In it for him, himself and him alone. He doesn’t give a tuppeny fuck about the common man.