Scoot

[My screen is red @tradeoilstocks]

“Give them a massive amount of oil, agricultural land, copper, freshwater, and every natural resource in the world. Now make them neighbors with the biggest market in the world. Great, now have them leave the resources in the ground and instead flip condos to each other”.

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

70% wheat beer, 30% pure strawberry juice. Tastes more like a cooler than a beer.

7/10

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

@JasonRink @synblinkerfluid All timer right here

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

@WhiteWashed104 @JFreshHockey 2022 51st overall pick by LA. Same name, different fella

[carter🌚 @carter6f]

In 2004, Kanye West was filming “Jesus Walks” when Punk’d pranked him by saying the shoot was illegal and they wanted to seize his footage 😭💔

Instead of cooperating, Kanye grabbed the film and tried to drive off with it… forcing Ashton Kutcher to chase him down 🤣

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

@FatFriendFred @peterstopcrime

[Ottawa Senators @Senators]

You're welcome Sens fans.

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

Starting a long phone call as soon as I get in an Uber to turn the tables on them

[cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic]

Bad CGI rarely gets more famous than the Scorpion King in The Mummy Returns (2001), an early digital attempt at recreating Dwayne Johnson that quickly became one of the most talked-about effects misfires of the era.

[Adam Piron @adam_piron]

what the land sees when you acknowledge it

[Brock Seguin @Brock_Seguin]

#GoBolts blueline tonight

[Ethan Brooks @alt_w_v_g]

Wife made me go to couples therapy last week

Nice office

Two couches

Box of tissues

The therapist asked what brings us in

My wife said "he treats everything like a transaction"

I said "that's not true"

The therapist asked me to give an example of something I do that isn't transactional

I thought about it for 11 seconds

I could not think of an example

The therapist asked how that made me feel

I said "efficient"

My wife looked at the therapist

The therapist looked at my wife

They had a moment

I was not part of the moment

My wife said "do you love me?"

I said "I chose you. Every day I choose you. That's not emotion. That's a commitment with a compounding return and I don't see a better alternative in the market."

The room went quiet

My wife cried

The therapist cried

I didn't understand why

That was the most romantic thing I've ever said

The therapist said "I think we should meet weekly"

I said "what's your hourly rate?"

She said "$275"

I said "for both of us or each?"

My wife picked up her purse and walked out

I stayed to negotiate the rate

Got it down to $250

Small win

Sent from my iPhone

[Erick Khan @ErickKhan_]

that’s an all-time name for the cart. RIP 🙏🏼

this war just got personal

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

@rachelguz @FigmentFL @KILLTOPARTY some people still end up proposing to a partner they don’t want to marry because social pressure from family, friends, and the significant other’s comments make them feel like proposing is the move that’ll invite the lowest level of conflict

[Scoot @BestScottEver]

@sciencegirl

[Jori Negin-Shecter @JNeginShecter]

The year is 2006. Leafs are led by a gold medalist captain. Domi gets too many minutes, McCabe is on the top pair. They refuse to rebuild.

The year is 2026. Leafs are led by a gold medalist captain. Domi gets too many minutes, McCabe is on the top pair. They refuse to rebuild.

[lay @1oflayy]

when y’all stories get to lookin like rice you know you doin too much

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

Me in my late 20s when the third beers makes me yawn instead of feel a buzz