Draven

Voted Most Handsome and Perfect Man for thirty-two years running. [+21]

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

Draven cannot hear complaints for he has diamond studded airpods in.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@VermilionHopes Draven's focus group testing has been very clear, sugardoll, what the people think makes a mother is a pair of huge, jiggling, milk-leaking jugs.

And one out of one Dravens agree that she's got them.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

Draven has an AI sending those DM's to everyone with a qualifying bust.

He doesn't even have to use an assistant for that anymore! They just have to tell him who replied.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@VermilionHopes And when it was all done,

they'd paint her so everyone could see what a 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐛𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐜𝐨𝐜𝐤-𝐚𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 she really was.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@VermilionHopes 𝐆𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫.

The itemless ADC is converged on by the whole enemy team. She's used to run up their score -- a sow milked for KDA.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@VermilionHopes And this is how she ends up when she comes back to lane against a Draven with fully cashed out stacks of Adoration.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy Draven leans forward and snatches a hold of Darius's wrist, pinning down the hand still holding the glass. His eyes lock with his brother's.

"I'm sorry this happened to you. I know what it means."

He squeezes tight enough that his own hand trembles before leaving in a flash.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

There's only one sign of warning and that's

"Where the hell is he!? Draven heard he's back! Is he in there? He's in there, isn't he!"

being shouted at the secretary before the door to Darius' office is kicked open by Draven with one arm in a cast.

@BigBroEnergy

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Don't care how bitter this is. We're in this together. I drink; you drink."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "You drink that right now."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Then take a drink. Hit the gym. Get your dick sucked. I don't care. Just get it together.

Because the way forward is /not/ putting your morals over /our/ safety."

Draven fills and drains a glass before standing.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Sometimes you're the only one with a pussy in a platoon, bro, it happens.

Way forward. Focus on that.".

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Don't give me that look. You're not doing the 'I woulld nobly soulder this blame like a man'. This is big shit. This has con-se-quen-ces.

Somebody is going on the chopping block for this."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Fine. Whatever. Next plan. We find a patsy. Some high-ranker in the navy. Blame them.

Then we go kick Shurimans and occupy another city. Boom. Noxus still number one."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "You don't got to put a baby in them. Take the snake one, who gives a shit. It'd solve this."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "They've been on the outs since Marcus got got for treason. An alliance would give them real cause to keep you alive and in power."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Awful. Tragic. Sons and daughters of Noxus.

Anyways, bro, you should marry a Du Couteau."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy Draven downs his and immediately pours them both a drink.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "A shark ate the ship?"

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Brooooo. It's not. It's not and you need to be so for real right now.

If you're steady, you can keep the axe from falling one me. I can't do the same for you!"

He pours them both a glass.

"What the hell happened. Talk to me, bro."

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy Draven throws himself into the visitor's chair, fuming.

[Draven @BigAxeEnergy]

@BigBroEnergy "Now they can blame both of us!" Draven does not stop at the desk. He circles it until reaching the cabinet and pulls out the second best bottle and two glasses.

"Should've let people blame Draven's instead of painting a target on your fucking back, bro!"

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