“Big” Bert Johnson

The Big Kahuna | Hotty Toddy | Smathers supporter | High class gambler | Dice Baseball Champion | “Give me a Gripah”

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Almost gave up my seat on the train this morning to an overweight man, then I realized I was doing him a favor by making him stand

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

@richardciderbox Been in this exact situation before. Don’t let em ruin your vibe

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Does anyone else’s roommate load the dishwasher like he’s Stevie Wonder?

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Sometimes at work I don’t know if the technology is that broke or if I’m just that dumb and then I sit there contemplating my life decisions

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Roommate is one of those “I told you so” guys after your bet doesn’t hit. Yeah right buddy 🚶‍♂️‍➡️🪨

[Jon “the dogg” Brooks @Jbrooksthethird]

Woke up hungover after 4 beers #LosingMyFastball

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

@ConsStanford Lined them up perfectly just for some old guy to try and take his cart to the range 3 hours before the round

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Lucas Hubert wearing pit viper like sunglasses and a LIV guy. Good round but absolute #shrink

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Some people treat themselves to Starbucks I treated myself to a DK scratcher on my way to work and won $25. Electric energy into the weekend. Let’s have a day

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

@tanner8callahan Used to care. Then saw a guy playing clash at his desk and now could care less

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

I hear about and see these people getting out run by their toddlers. When I have kids if I ever get outrun by my toddler that will be the lowest point in my life and there will be no recovering

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Accidentally bought organic bananas. Cashier probably thought I was a lib. Wtf

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

@MrBeast 3,842,615

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

@derriusg5ive Map Tap for the geography lovers

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Passed my phishing test at my internship today, gonna ask for a raise tomorrow. #promotion #fisherman

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Failed my harassment training today. Apparently a guy can’t make a couple of jokes around the office anymore

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Black lady walked by me in the grocery store today and went “Ooo! Collard Greens, mmmhmmm” all excitedly. Some things are like a moth to a flame

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Mission complete

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Going to Dave and Busters for the intern social event tomorrow. About to show bossman what 12 jaegerbombs followed by a perfect game on ski ball looks like. #hyped #returnoffer

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Free $25 on FanDuel. Don’t mind if I do. I think I can get behind this soccer thing.

[“Big” Bert Johnson @BigBertJohnson]

Going to Dave and Busters for the intern social event tomorrow. About to show bossman what 12 jaegerbombs followed by a perfect game on ski ball looks like. #hyped #returnoffer