me during sex: hurt me
her: You’ve been traded to the Mets
me: wait—
her: you have a sore elbow. Mets expect you to miss one start.
me: stop
her: It’s a torn UCL. Tommy John surgery. 12-18 months recovery.
i like this brutal takedown of our band that spends its first 3 paragraphs obsessing over the fact that we hit the stage.... on time. and that some people left... at the end of our set