will

[will @BillSquas]

@GroyperDeadHead @DerWeise91 Wrong!

[will @BillSquas]

@AilisCroi Your child will be non-binary

[will @BillSquas]

I was born to be an uncle and / or godfather. In charge of a child max of 10 days a year. Have a small impact and overestimate my importance. Die in a strange, unforgettable way like a hamster and leave a powerful mark on his or her brain for decades. Give em their first beer.

[nick wright @getnickwright]

Bron hasn’t even played a game with the Sixers and his GOAT case has already gotten considerably stronger.

[Nude Gunray @Nude_Gunray]

When you finish pissing in the alleyway on a drunken night out:

[kate wehwalt @mcmansionhell]

i sustained a brain injury on 1/20/2025 and i'm gonna be real i'm better but some stuff still makes me wonder if i'm actually in a different reality or dead and in hell

[Arsha🐴🎧⚧️ @theymergirl]

Moved back in with my parents for a year now and it really feels like this

[will @BillSquas]

@WilliamWurzel Try having 160 dollars in 20 dollar bills in ur wallet

[will @BillSquas]

@peterjhasson We have flock cameras all over Austin. What are you talking about.

[will @BillSquas]

@tak3sh8 They resent smart people and things they do not understand

[ja3k @ja3k_]

A person sees a crowd gathered in a park. Wading through he sees a man playing chess with a dog.

"What a smart dog" they exclaim.

"Not really", replies a member of the crowd. "It's down two to five".

This is basically how I feel when people discuss current AI abilities.

[will @BillSquas]

@rBillSimmonsPod Mike Evan’s

[🍃 @cardamomkiss]

I feel like a good rule of thumb is that if a tweet is about one specific person in your life it’s better off as a journal entry

[jill @littlefucky]

I have a uncle who is 700 pounds and an aunt who is 40. And my birthday is in May and my sister is awesome! Just a few things about me

[realyuriyearners @realyuriyearns]

[to the guy who very clearly doesn't, hasn't and will never respect me] i don't get it. it's like you don't even respect me.

[will @BillSquas]

“2 drink minimum.”. Yeah unfortunately for YOU, that will not be a problem.

[ethan @ethanjuiced]

[tweeting a picture of a soccer player getting hit in the face with a ball] this is how your email finds me😂

[switching to facebook] happy birthday Nonna! 76 never looked so good :)

[posting to my ig story] i might go outside later but its chilly

[back on twitter] Im John af,

[will @BillSquas]

Typing “the hoes” into google maps

[toxic king @toxicking]

Wished my ex the worst and we ended up back together

[Horny Empath @Ilovepeeing1]

Steely Dan, patio, beer, cigarette, automatic

[will @BillSquas]

@Ilovepeeing1 Still is