BMP

I’ve been getting messages from my deep waters

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

If she was this funny during the campaign she’d have done better

[Nancy Mace @NancyMace]

Some people expect me to be eating a pint of ice cream after my loss.

I have other plans.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

I’m married to a Latina, trust me, I understand bro here

[RT @RT_com]

Famous gorilla Kiyomasa falls into deep contemplation after spat with mate — caught on camera in Japanese zoo

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

It’s the best fast food burger out there. Legit. It is crazy expensive though.

But that’s every fast food place now. Good lucky a few months from now when the massive fuckup from DOGE that is the screwworm issue makes beef prices skyrocket

[Michael Girdley @girdley]

NEW LONG FORM VIDEO: Why nobody goes to Five Guys anymore

Five Guys grew into a burger powerhouse, generating more than $1.3 billion in revenue. It was named America’s best burger by Zagat, and even the President of the United States was known to stop by for lunch. At its peak, the chain seemed unstoppable.

But today, sales are down more than 10% from their peak. Stores are closing, and the brand has become the target of endless jokes online, mostly centered around one thing: the price.

It’s easy to blame inflation and the post-pandemic economy for Five Guys’ struggles. But the real story is more complicated than that.

This is the rise and fall of Five Guys.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

“He made it all about himself!”

Such an amazing lack of awareness from a *checks notes* MAGA account, that I’ve got to imagine this is just a bit y’all are doing, I can’t believe there are some of y’all who are legit

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

not every homosexual is like this but there’s something incredibly gay coded about a guy who was in the vast majority of their sketches for years whining he never felt he was “central” to the show

[Variety @Variety]

Bowen Yang says he left "SNL" because he "never felt central" to the show.

"I never played the dad or the straight-man teacher. I was always kind of there as the seasoning."

Stream the full #ActorsOnActors episode now on the CNN app: https://t.co/jrgGNUUacv

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

the pancake chick is a porn star now btw

[Oilfield Rando @Oilfield_Rando]

Anyway. AOC is morphing into the pancake chick.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

Like, to Dominicans, they ARE Dominican, what the fuck you mean we are supposed to be something else first? No, papi

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

Legit one of the funniest videos of all time but there’s a greater social commentary to be made about how non-Latinos don’t really understand that in Latin cultures identify themselves culturally first long before it’s a race thing.

[Morpheus @Morpheus156]

I have a friend from DR who told me ppl legit hate this guy in that country just bcus of this video and the damage it did to their pr lmfao

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

Almost as vindicating as that guy’s feral hog tweet

[Stuart Buck @stuartbuck1]

@TECleveland @cremieuxrecueil Despite some bogus grants, a lot of government is like this cartoon. I bet this "small team" would find a line item for "screwworm sterilization" and delete it, not knowing that they just devastated American farming: https://t.co/OAnAkxDSEK

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

it’s actually shocking how much shit they (and this admin) have got horribly wrong and have managed to make costs / quality of life escalating worse, like, statistically you shouldn’t have that track record, and here we are

[Everything Price Sufferer (but especially eggs) @agraybee]

From 1966 to 2025 we dropped sterile flies over South America that ate screwworm and thus prevented them from spreading, but the le epic efficient cracked coders at DOGE thought this was a silly waste of the ~0 dollars it cost us.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

It’s looking increasingly like he’s going to advance to Nov so actually things couldn’t have gone better for him absent an outright win with over 50%, but that was a long shot at this stage.

Which is not to say he’ll win in Nov but I’m sure he’s happy it’ll be a binary choice

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

Ayo wanna run that one back Spencer hakimian

[Spencer Hakimian @SpencerHakimian]

Tonight couldn’t have gone worse for Spencer Pratt if he tried.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

I regret to say this is legitimately funny

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Boilers32 It most definitely was not. I would never have forgotten my drugs.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

I get that, I even can find some common ground to agree with you a bit here.

And yet:

I limit my drinking to about two times a week, and rarely to excess. I absolutely do feel if you need to drink EVERY night, you are closer to having a drinking problem IMO.

[J.T. Alexander @JTAlexander]

While I was in the Army, there was a period in which they were overly focused on alcohol consumption. They made us do periodic questions about alcohol use.

Upfront, let's be clear: my entire life, I've never been much of a drinker. I'm a notorious lightweight because I drink so rarely. I'm a cheapskate who doesn't like spending money and I hate the spins and hangovers.

But, I am still a fairly normal man and so I'd partake occasionally. If I am drinking at all it is either to have a 1-2 beers at a function, a single beer over a restaurant lunch/dinner, or I am drinking with intent to get blasted. There's no in between.

During my time in the Army, this translated to usually drinking 0.0 beers a week, except for the quarterly party I'd go to where I'd down 10-20 at a time.

I took a questionnaire that asked how many drinks I have a week. I answered "Approximately 0.03." They asked if I ever drank to the point of blackout. Yeah, like three times or so in my life.

That was it.

This use was enough for the Army to flag me as a 'potential alcoholic' and require me to at least get screened by a provider. I worked out the math and explained that this translates to a decimal point of beers a week, and that was enough to get me out of the process, but that was insane.

You know what is even more insane? I've encountered people who think this is appropriate. They think having drank to blackout even once in life should have someone cut back.

Somehow in a culture of rampant weed, coke, fent, meth, high risk sex, gang violence, and overall degenerate morality, we have effectively created a teetotaling culture that views a single heavy night out as a warning sign of alcoholism.

No wonder nobody drinks anymore.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

I think it’s really as simple as them being nakedly, cravenly greedy enough that they really did believe they could fire half their workforce in favor of an AI chatbot, and had no clue as to how expensive (and inefficient) that would be.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

I don’t even think it’s some sort of big brained scheme these CEOs had to force AI to ensure that their companies got billions / trillions into investment.

[Andrew Orlowski @AndrewOrlowski]

✍️“Out of the great cloud of Al hype, the outline of the crash can now be clearly discerned”

Here’s some maths from today’s @TeleBusiness column, now online:

🔗 https://t.co/4MkFivjjER

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

lol facts

[Allen Ivermectin @FanSince09]

If James Talarico was a real Texan he’d be dating a big ol woman from San Antonio

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

Look, the right went ultra cringe with the manosphere stuff (largely because the people who have tried to claim that spot as ultra macho, ideals of masculinity are anything but), but the left should really take a seat on defining who codes as gay or not.

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

there was that dude who just yesterday was claiming that Talarico “doesn’t even code as gay.”

lol, lmao even

[Will, politically homeless once again @spudhawg]

@hemantmehta “straight”

[BMP @BlMarketParade]

Become ungovernable

[Jess @MeetJess]

Honestly obsessed with how this dog is treating the obstacle course like a suggestion 😂😍

Not a single thought.
Not a single cone spared.
An icon.