Ż

The outside and everything in it

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

The rain holds my secrets
The stars are burdened with my troubles

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Safe
As if clouds were gathered and bundled into a bouquet of easiness, tied with the ribbon of your arms wrapped around me
Steady
As if the the earth were to shake beneath me yet never feeling more grounded
Home
As if the gentleness found in your company resides in my heart
Love

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

The cold, bitter air seeps inside my lungs. Those same chills occur when I crawl into bed after you have just left it.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Is it assumptive to accept a seemingly naive situation?
To be well aware of the absurdity yet force deprivation
Not letting yourself accept affection?

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

My inspiration seems to have always stemmed from an unwatered and neglected place
But for the first time in my life
There seems to be a sprout from a stem in the garden I've been watering

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Maybe I'll just get a tattoo of a plant that way I won't continually feel guilt whenever it joins the you-wont-survive-in-this-environment graveyard I've created.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I strive to be as transparent as possible
Leave no room for miscommunication
I inevitably find myself in the same situation
Underestimated, misconstrued responses with negative connotation

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Is it heartburn or a burning heart?

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I'm living in this dream where my finger traces her skin
Began with a smile
A laugh
A shot
A pause..
A inevitable hesitation to a terrifying destination.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I've been flirting with a sense of stillness
It's foreign but I'll enjoy it while it lasts nevertheless

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

My magician
You stunned me when these feelings showed up out of nowhere
My heart on my sleeve, endlessly kept going and going and going
You sawed my doubts in half and gave me bouquets of flowers
And for your final act
You disappeared

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I won't feel ashamed for doing my best and loving without vice. What anyone does with that will not be on me.
I have no regrets, what if's or a thought twice.
I'm guilt-free and lucky for you, you get to live with that reality.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I'm fine. I make it through the day. I can make it til the sun goes away. I can't help but lay in bed and feel unsatiable. Adjusting my pillows, breath, mind, fucking everything. This and the bitter cold is unmanageable. This is how it'll be? How am I here and you're happy?

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I check your horoscope to make sure you're doing okay

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I've finally managed to swallow the glass. Or were they diamonds? I've choked for so long on this silver-plated alloy. It burned in my pocket before I could decorate you in it.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I've been brutally beaten. Spared all but my soul has been devoured. Don't be flattered as if it has anything to do with you. Between the gnawing, I still saw you and you're just a coward.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

I leave a bad taste in your mouth, or at least that's the way you treat me.
Not a chance, no conversation. Have I given you a reason to leave me?
What are you hiding? What are you selling?
I'm merely an affair in the story you're now telling.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Every night I dream memories that yet have happened
Cruelest scenarios and waking up in sweat
But soon I will face a reality thats saddens
And expected to carry on with plans we never met

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Breathing in and out, trying to repress how mad, infuriated, wounded, humiliated...... In. Out.

[Ż @BlackThesaurus]

Fuck me for taking all of those pictures and videos of you.