Blake Ferguson

it's like I have espn or something

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Dear fatties at the airport: the seats at the gates are all connected, so when you plop your “30 years of bad decisions” ass down, it sends me flyin like a 3 year old on a teeter totter with Shamu. Sit lightly, I’m trying to nap. #shame

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

@dumdumofficiel We bought a giant variety pack of your suckers, and there was a single blue raspberry flavor in the whole pack. This is our favorite flavor, and we are extremely disappointed with the way you disperse your suckers. Shame on you, and fuck lemon lime.

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

I don’t like when things are perfect, bc they can only get worse.

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Damn you The Vamps https://t.co/iNEZCOqUza

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Starting a Something Corporate cover band called Something Non-profit @OfficialSoCo

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Wendy’s is a great place to be fat but fresh

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Who ate Christian Bale?

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

I chcked in 23 h 59 m b4 my #southwest flght and still in the 4th out of 6 boarding grp. WHATS A GUY GOTTA DO TO GET A LITTLE SETTLE IN TIME

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

#weddingcrashers holds up

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Missing #skylinechili today

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Sorry #greenlantern, if you didn’t have a cartoon series in the 90’s, you stood no chance. #batman #spiderman #superman #justiceleague

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Dear cable advertisers: wtf makes u think I’m gonna watch 1 second of your shitty commercials when I have 120 channels? #makemovies2hrsagain

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

If I had to be in a horror movie universe I would be a cop. Evil shit is always gone by the time they show up

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

You shouldn't be fired for not standing during a stupid song. You should be fired for peeing on the seat. I'm on to you, fourth floor pisser

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

Dicks are like dog tails. Think about it

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

If you prefer cake donuts to yeast donuts you're a terrorist get out of my country #merica

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

I now identify as a tree. I will start formally transitioning in fall. I'm thinking oak. No, maple! #woke

[Blake Ferguson @Blake_DFerguson]

My new nickname I'm giving myself is flip flop anonymous

[WICASA @WICASAmusic]

| WICASA EP | OUT NOW |
Spotify Link Below...
https://t.co/0CwrOZTj6L

[GoodMusicAllDay @GoodMusicAllDay]

Nashville's Very Own Electronic Duo @WiCASAmusic Drops Their First EP #Satellites | https://t.co/OU7yCvAFNT via @GoodMusicAllDay @MooreGMAD