Real Lawyer

The other attorney that rocks/ Noted missing person

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

Someone let Donald Trump know I am available to represent him from an undisclosed location.

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I’ve been hired by the Trump campaign, once I make bail.

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

Blazers V Rockets. A classic case of Double Jeopardy (this is how double jeopardy works I assume)
#NBAonESPN

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I did it your honor.

“And how do you plead?”

Not Guilty

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

@PeezyTX I’ll take care of him.

[Not A Fan Podcast @NotAFanPodcast]

This week on the podcast: @jeffurrea on why the @RamsNFL get no love in LA. #RamsHouse #NFL #Comedy #LARams

Listen: https://t.co/6hpIIux4d5

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

Smart move by Jerry Jones to hire me as his lawyer. I’m assuming he wants as many people on staff with CTE as possible?

[Not A Fan Podcast @NotAFanPodcast]

With Christmas over now’s the time to return all your unwanted gifts. Unless it’s Jerry Jones. Then your stuck with it like this week’s guest @DougMellard

Listen: https://t.co/PdANKv1GB0

#Cowboys #JerryJones #Christmas

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

This Rocket’s been punched in the face way more times than @CP3

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

Aggressive reminder that I am still available for the Supreme Court. Either as a judge or a plea of guilty.

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I’m not saying I wrote the @nytimes op-ed. But I WILL say I once rummaged through a @WhiteHouse dumpster looking for shredded documents. I didn’t find them, but I now know what hepatitis feels like. Again.

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I’ll be at Not Too Shabby tonight at @ucbtla but you’ll never prove it!

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

Joke’s on you @Twitter I purged all my followers years ago. No way anyone finds those bodies.

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I Fucking Did. https://t.co/ZSzHKnrmwR

[Marco Rubio @marcorubio]

Sign of our times... the F word is now routinely used in news stories, tweets etc It’s not even F*** anymore. Who made that decision???

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I had nothing to do with this. More of a dry ice guy myself. https://t.co/Qgr5jUURCG

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

To all my haters and bail jumpers. Tonight at @SandboxWRG @FalloutComedy

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I’ve got something to say about this, @SandboxWRG this Tuesday @FalloutComedy

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

I’m Michael Cohen’s new lawyer so…he’s screwed.

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

THE ROCKETS ARE BLAZIN 🔥🚀

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

If reports from Austin last night are to be believed then apparently “Jonny M” did not “Die In a Fire” and I have not been “Framed For Murder.” #FPIA @jonmendoza

[Real Lawyer @Blaze_Rocket]

Michael Cohen just tried to move in with me. Who told him I was living under the 6th street bridge? ANSWER ME!