Mr. Rizvi

I am something, something else...Believe me!

[Next Gen Stats @NextGenStats]

The quarterback who generated the most pass EPA has won MVP in every season in the Next Gen Stats era (since 2016).

This season, Matthew Stafford has generated almost twice as much pass EPA (+114.3) than the next closest QB (Dak Prescott: +62.2).

#RamsHouse

[NY Working Families Party @NYWFP]

Remember to vote YES on all five proposals on the back of your ballot, especially the key voting rights and democracy reforms. #YESon134

[Mikel @Mikel_Larrinaga]

America has once again proven that a pile of dead bodies is no cause for change and the fact that you’re not sure which issue I’m talking about speaks to the depth of that problem.

[Anastasia Golovashkina @golovashkina]

I swear, it’s the same three headlines every single week:

- police shoot unarmed black man
- mass shooter bought guns legally
- very rich man made a lot of money

[Mr. Rizvi @BlitzBoxer602]

This did not age well!

[Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump]

So last year 37,000 Americans died from the common Flu. It averages between 27,000 and 70,000 per year. Nothing is shut down, life & the economy go on. At this moment there are 546 confirmed cases of CoronaVirus, with 22 deaths. Think about that!

[maia @mxmtoon]

this did not age well.

[Jude Natural @judenatural]

apparently a corona virus symptom is having no taste, thoughts go out to all the cunts who wear Yeezys then

[Sampson McCormick @OfficialSampson]

Old white dude at the airport didn’t know I had a 1st class ticket—Tried blocking my way, sure he was on before me.

When I excused myself past him he demanded “How the hell are you getting on before me?”

I tapped his Zone 3 Coach ticket with a smile “Because you’re ghetto.” 😎

[TS Butch Queen @Timamusson]

People say all the time “I would kill for my child”, but somehow, “I would cross dangerous borders for a better life for my child” is incomprehensible and looked down upon.

[comedycentral @ComedyCentral]

Nah, last time there was a joke at a debate it became president.

[Good Grief. @NotoriousBIGTIM]

*walks into Footlocker*
Employee: YOU NEED HELP WITH ANYTHING?
Me: Nah Im ju-
2nd employee: AYE BIG MAN YOU NEED HELP?

[follow @uberciph @notUberCiph]

A$ap Rocky really bitching about being locked up in an Ikea

[Chibueze @Imoemi_]

*Me skipping classes because of rain*

My dad who crossed the River Niger with his bare feet to go to school:

[Jon @ArfMeasures]

Boss: If you fall asleep again today, I'll fire you

Me: ok

Boss: Now go and do the sheep inventory

Me: oh no

[manifesting 300k @kevotrxn]

$80/hr? You gmfu thinking imma refuse that. Shit Im making sure each one of those tombs are spotless with the finest holy water. Annabelle tryna visit her friend? Aisle 6 row 3 bro. Might get haunted but im leaving each shift in a Bentley with Casper and his homies in the back.

[Young Sweet Jones @MONDUSE]

Wtf these niggas be going thru in orientation 😂

[ShAolin PHantAstic ⚡ @Subtle_Charisma]

I swore I saw someone say it was wrong to compare these to concentration camps, but this is in fact what it is..

[Michael Scott Moore @MichaelSctMoore]

Somali pirates gave me toothpaste & soap.