Blod The Impaler

Ramblings of a 457 year old vampire.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@supertanskiii This country has become a laughing stock (thanks to russian interference in everything since the brexit vote). Given that dementia donnie was telling everyone that Starmer was resigning today, we clearly have a colossal breach in national security.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

At a wedding by myself this weekend. Went to a gig last night. By myself. Feeling glum. Would be nice to have someone to do stuff with.
Trying not to cry before heading downstairs for breakfast, thinking driving to the local Maccy's to eat alone in the car might be preferable.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@domdyer70 "Only a cat". How would she feel if someone stuffed her into a bin?

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

That awkward moment when you realise you can't continue to be friends with someone because they're an irritating twat, but you're kinda stuck with them for the rest of your life.
Would moving to New Zealand to escape them be too extreme?

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@MittensOff Four of that "crowd" were asking for directions to the nearest loo.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@DrNeilStone I believe that's the American healthcare model

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@AmazonUK Dumping a partially open package in someone's back yard does not constitute "Handed to resident"
Your delivery drivers are abysmal. Probably because you expect them to deliver hundreds of parcels a day without even being allowed a break.
Sort it out!

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@Tesco My orders are full of plant based alternatives. Why the heck do you think I'd want money off meat when I literally never buy it?

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@CountBinface The reform party

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

The https://t.co/imPJ6JgaBm one account thing is a joke. I want to update my address on my driving licence, I can't even get it to send me a verification SMS. Last time I moved, it wasn't this difficult. Why can't I just use my government gateway account?!

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@DougWahl1 Arrest him next time he tries to play golf here.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@CountBinface Doing the work of intergalactic space gods again, I see.
Interestingly, my cat just barfed on the living room floor, and it made more sense than any of the policies that racist frog-faced shitebag has offered. Looked less repulsive than him, too.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@ko_fights__ Maybe I'm showing my age, but if kid me went home and told my mum a police officer had slapped me, she'd have battered me because "You obviously did something to deserve it"

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

I can't even lodge a formal complaint because your app won't let me web chat, and your phone bot refuses to let me speak to someone.
Utterly appalling lack of service. How on earth are you still in business?

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@YodelOnline Today, you managed to be even worse than usual. Driver said there's been an address change for my parcel, so she walked away with it. I guess at least she managed to find my house this time, instead of dumping the parallel in a random garden somewhere.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@NosamLuap @YodelOnline Good luck with that, their automated phone system is useless, and their website chat is nonexistent. Every time I think they couldn't get any worse, they manage to get even worse.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@punt_rd Oddly enough, it was that one while I was finishing up at work for the evening.

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@SamaHoole Keith has gorgeous ears

[Blod The Impaler @BlodImpaler]

@schuh Exactly how am I supposed to return a product when your system is determined the order number on the receipt doesn't exist? I don't want to pay a tenner for a train and travel for an hour to go to a physical shop.

[Gilly 🖤 @Gillian275Gm]

If anyone would care to join me in requesting the removal of the MBE from @NickBuckleyMBE please email [email protected]