Ugfuglio Skumpy

I am everything I’ve lost & everything I refuse to let go of

[ewка🗡️ @malicenya]

“Shes hitting bulgarians” NOOOOOO </3333

[Ugfuglio Skumpy @BlueCollar_Wook]

I know he’s cranking movies out already but they’re so fckin funny I’d like at least two a month @JohnCena

[Ugfuglio Skumpy @BlueCollar_Wook]

Bf showed me this post n we legitimately almost booked a ferry to the mainland to go get her

[niamh @WAKEUPDONNlE]

avril lavigne? What an odd name for a cat but cute i g-

oh my fucking god that is quite literally avril lavigne

[Virgbert West: V-Animator 🧪🔆 @veanimator]

this girl brought the most beautiful collie into my work today and i was about to ask if i could pet her and the girl was like "she's weird, okay? she pets people. but you have to ask to be pet first." and i said "...may i be pet" and this dog just. rubbed her face on me

[✒️ @Literariium]

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

[greta theft autumn ✿ (4.3% FC) @2007warpedtour]

do not smear the good name of old dutch on my tl

[Ugfuglio Skumpy @BlueCollar_Wook]

Having a bf that fishes is so underrated, wdym there’s fresh caught salmon in my freezer the length of my arm

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

my toxic trait is telling my cat he is a good little boy when he has actually been committing atrocities all day every day

[Ugfuglio Skumpy @BlueCollar_Wook]

It’s weird that not everyone is a dipshit? interesting take but ok

[° ʚ 𝐥𝐢𝐚 𝐛𝐢𝐚 ɞ ° @liamarshallxo]

when i was 17-21 i wanted to try every drug i could get my hands on no matter the risk and it's always weird to me that other ppl didn't have that phase

[gnocchii☤ @rukittenm3e]

1. I am a genius
2. There is not a single thing I don’t excel at
3. Cigarettes will never hurt me
4. I know what you did
5. I don’t experience withdrawal
6. I want to go swimming

[🦫🇺🇾 @doubtpointv2]

How it feels to have a bf who takes care of things for me when I'm overwhelmed

[Miss Ziprusha @destinyzee]

#InCaseYouMissedIt

[Ugfuglio Skumpy @BlueCollar_Wook]

Customer asked for a chocolate iced Capp so I rang it in as a mocha & they screamed at me that they wanted a chocolate ice Capp with no coffee

[Mads @europemaxxed]

Would you please not vape your fruity flavor around my kids? my wife and i are raising them organically on Marlboro reds

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

“i asked chat gpt” well i asked tupac & he said that’s why he fucked your bitch you fat motherfucker

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

Woke up at 3am to find my cat eating a slice of my pizza on my chest. The pizza was downstairs in the kitchen. Dragged it upstairs to eat it off my body.

[27. @dimvji]

the best part about having a job is being able to go through doors other people aren’t allowed to use. the worst part is everything else

[dom @mizzaclizza]

i like twitter bc it doesn’t give u girls he’s slept w in ur suggestions

[Ugfuglio Skumpy @BlueCollar_Wook]

My bf says “thank you that was delicious” when I heat up chicken fingers for him … why do people settle

[Emilly @EmillyStreamz]

I cooked my boyfriend breakfast and asked him to leave me a review..

[cee @1ovesickkk]

what doesnt kill you will have you naming 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste