Bob Monkhouse

The twitterings of a dead comedian

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

RT @mattkirshen: Fair play to the @Bob_Monkhouse charity account for deleting all non-Bob jokes and starting afresh. #GoodPeople #follow

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

@mattkirshen Done! Not always easy to work out if a joke is stolen when picked from web. Have removed all mentioned. Thanks

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

@mattkirshen Fair point, apologies. Will attribute future gags & dig deeper into the vast Monkhouse back catalogue.

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

RT @bensherman1963: Last week our very own Mark Williams (Head of Design) cycled from London to Paris to raise £1778 for @ProstateAction....

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

@pantsinthepark is tomorrow! There's still time to sign up online here http://t.co/ZR7nbrp9

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

RT @londonmums: Pants in the Park 22 Sept 2012 Charity run @BatterseaPkSW11 @PantsinthePark @ProstateAction pls RT

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Want to be part of a Guinness World Record this Saturday? Join @ProstateAction @greatdragrace and get your frocks on http://t.co/Byz0Uic4

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

My estate agent called to say he had a great looking semi lined up for me. It was very flattering but I hardly know the guy.

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Someone told me I was average looking. I thought it was mean. #mathletejoke

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Looked for ages but there really aren't any clean pants jokes around. @pantsinthepark #Mwoargh

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

The US & UK tend to get their knickers in a twist when it comes to the word pants. @pantsinthepark is simple to understand (and follow).

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Know what HIFU is? I didn't either, but it's a new prostate cancer treatment that could save men's waterworks http://t.co/DYKSZz0T

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

A survey from the Uni of S. Australia for men diagnosed/treated with prostate cancer and wives/partners http://t.co/7e7ReoMU #pleaseshare

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

My wife asked me when I first got that warm & fuzzy feeling about our marriage. I told her it was when I grew a beard & sat by a heater.

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

RT @prostateaction: We're looking for a PR and Events intern to help us with @greatdragrace this year. Apply: http://t.co/w3wnrkmI Please RT

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

RT @prostateaction: Prostate cancer takes its toll on the entire family. Watch our prostate cancer wives campaign here http://t.co/bYWXLkJO

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

RT @prostateaction: Only 108 more followers until we reach 1,000 - can we make it before the end of prostate cancer awareness month? #pcam

[Bob Monkhouse @Bob_Monkhouse]

Have you seen the Prostate cancer wives campaign from @ProstateAction? A powerful film - please share http://t.co/vfk1y8cw