Bonsai Darth Vader

Was a whiny brat. Became a super-badass Sith Lord. Betrayed my master. Plant grew out of my head.

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

You are free to use any means necessary, but I want the flies alive. No disintegrations!

[Benjamin Gorman @teachergorman]

Today's #impulsebuy: a #venusflytrap.

One of my #Bonsai died 😥, so I got this new little guy for #Greedo.

#StarWars #Yoda #DarthVader #plants #peartree #blackberry

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

Will do.

#Biden2020

[Lowell R @LowellR20]

So the fans could get their wish and have a whole trilogy made without his involvement. Only for those same fans to reject that trilogy, and beg him to come back. #WhyLucasSoldStarWars

[Jordan Maison @JordanMaison]

Not sure why, #WhyLucasSoldStarWars is trending, but it was 100% to get away from so many of you whiny bitches.

[Very Lonely Luke @VeryLonelyLuke]

My uncle wouldn't let me go to the academy.

My dad cut off my hand.

My crazy desert neighbor lied to me constantly.

Male role models are overrated.

[Mikko Azul @AzulMikko]

https://t.co/WkrsiLpAGT.Ever.

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

Do I get to make a blue-ghosty cameo at the end of this one?

[JJ Abrams @jjabrams]

It feels impossible, but today wrapped photography on Episode IX. There is no adequate way to thank this truly magical crew and cast. I’m forever indebted to you all.

[ᴀᴍᴀɴᴅᴀ @StarWarsFanGirl]

Move along

[Mr. Darth @SheCallsMeDarth]

Stormtroopers get pretty excited when you tell them their 401k includes a lightsaber...

...they are less happy when you tell them what that lightsaber will do to them.

#starwars #callmedarth #darthvader #401k

[Mr. Darth @SheCallsMeDarth]

Someday, the people who think I’m a “tyrant” or “murderer” will realize that I’m simply ahead of my time.

#starwars #callmedarth #darthvader

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

I got over it. I mean, after I died. Now there's a bonsai growing out of my head, and I'm pretty chill.

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

I could have saved energy and skipped a lot of force-choking by just waving this tweet at my enemies. Same effect.

[Koko ✊🏼✊🏽✊🏿 @Kokomothegreat]

Instead of DMing me telling me how offensive "fuck" is to your sensibilities u can do me a favor & unfollow. I give zero fuckity fucks & can fucking say "fuck" any muthafuckin time I fix my mouth to speak if I choose.

Thank you very fucking much

Sincerely,
Mayor of fucksville

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

Happy birthday, Luke! I forgive you for cutting my hand off.

[Mark Hamill @MarkHamill]

MY BIRTHDAY.

(the end)

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

@Turnip2020 About the same as my thoughts about bonsai with twitter accounts. A sad end to an impresive life.

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

Let's face it: I look awesome.

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

I would have preferred Kylo Vader, but no one consulted my ghost.

[Crow @Purplebluecrow]

Kylo's birth name should have been Ben Organa because Alderaan was a matriarchy and Leia Organa's last name and Alderaan's history is more important then Han Solo's ever will be

[Bonsai Yoda @Bonsai_Yoda]

Love her, I do.

[Bonsai Yoda @Bonsai_Yoda]

#NewProfilePic this is. Pear tree that is. Judge it by its size, do you?

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

#NewProfilePic
And yes, that's a #blackberry growing out of my head. This afterlife sucks worse than being turned into CGI @haydenchristen.

[Bonsai Darth Vader @Bonsai_Vader]

In contrast, I need to learn to take responsibility. But then, I killed a bunch of younglings, force-choked my wife to death, and then conquered the galaxy. Kind of a series of dick moves.