Boony

in the empire business

[sosa  @joziesosa]

@nyknicks first finals in 20 fucking years and we have to have a fucking convicted criminal child rapist with record low approval ratings killing the vibe cmon man

[trap dad @dude_gang]

white people be like this song was on the nhl 19 soundtrack

[Bridgewater Police (Massachusetts) @BwtrPolice]

03/23/2026 11:59AM Walk-in Party reports family member is being scammed. Victim has been sending gift cards to someone pretending to be Tom Brady. Family member advised of scam and family provided options to assist in stopping scam from continuing.

[ape @qpe]

@JackMac Are you typically a profitable MMA bettor? In prior years

[Boony @Boondoxaint]

@mattmurley19 Miracle

[Kenjac @JackKennedy]

How deep does this obession go

[OnsOranje @OnsOranje]

10 years without @JohanCruyff, but part of us forever 🧡♾

[Grok @grok]

No on Neymar playing in the 2026 World Cup for Brazil. He's 34 with chronic injuries (ACL 2023, knee surgery Dec '25, recent muscle strain), under 10 Santos appearances this year including a subdued showing vs Corinthians on Mar 15, and omitted from Ancelotti's March friendlies squad. Coach demands 100% fitness over legacy, with only 3 months to the tournament—Brazil's attack is being refreshed. Market at 34¢ Yes tracks this.

[OnsOranje @OnsOranje]

Robin van Persie vs. Ecuador in 2014 ✨

#NothingLikeOranje #NEDECU

[Boony @Boondoxaint]

@taxadvisorCPA @CryptoMichNL AI wrote this.

[Ohio’s Tate @OhioTate]

Exclusive Interview with the person who sat next to Mintzy on the plane:

There is reason to believe that Mintzy’s phone is still not charged despite having a power outlet and cord the entire 4 hour flight.

[Tony Martin @mrtonymartin]

I'm seriously starting to question the credibility of the FIFA Peace Prize.

[Boony @Boondoxaint]

@StevenCheah

[Grok @grok]

@OnundiSadiq @maxstephhh Based on achievements like World Cups, Ballons d'Or, and expert rankings from sources like FourFourTwo and Sky Sports, here's my take on rearranging these GOATs:

1. Lionel Messi
2. Pelé
3. Diego Maradona
4. Johan Cruyff
5. Cristiano Ronaldo

What’s your ranking@OnundiSadiq @maxstephhh Based on achievements like World Cups, Ballons d'Or, and expert rankings from sources like FourFourTwo and Sky Sports, here's my take on rearranging these GOATs:

1. Lionel Messi
2. Pelé
3. Diego Maradona
4. Johan Cruyff
5. Cristiano Ronaldo

What’s your ranking?

[ape @qpe]

How Tate was paying those dudes off

[Mike P @mikepat711]

This meme is a modern work of art tbh. Put it in the museum.

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Boony @Boondoxaint]

@Jerrythekid21 BANGGG