Boozy Lunch

Where's the wine list, and will there be cheese?

[Iain Martin @iainmartin1]

We are about to go through one of those ritualistic, periodic floggings of London. Britain is too centralised. The North (difficult to define) is deemed more authentic. I disagree. London and the South East should be celebrated not condemned. So I have had a go at doing that…

[JC @jmsclee]

I'm absolutely crying at this. Sound on.

[Karl Turner MP @KarlTurnerMP]

Here’s the thing though Nige, when you get 5 Million quid wired to your banking account from a crypto billionaire pal, within the declaration period (12 months before being elected to Parliament), it’s in the public interest for journalist to investigate. That’s called journalism

[UKSwifts @swifts_uk]

Retweet ❗️

This is a Swift. sometimes they can end up on the ground. This is where they need YOUR help!

Swifts arrive back to the UK from April/May to nest. 🪺 (A THREAD)

[Barney Ronay @barneyronay]

People are very confused on here. A reminder that if elected MPs do decide to keep an elected PM this is not "fascism" or dictatorship. It is literally how democracy works. Social media rage or knowing a bloke who really reckons someone is a nonce is not

[Bobby F. 🍁 @bobbyfairview]

Dear @ebehdad

RE: The Conflict of Perverse Incentives

I want to be fair to you. You had less than a month to structure a complex billion pound transaction, so some mistakes were always going to happen. But the mistake I’m describing isn’t an execution error. It’s a conceptual flaw baked into the deal from day one, and it has permanently poisoned your strategic position.

You built a structure with three stakeholder groups, and you only have a fiduciary duty to one of them. That was always going to end badly. Let me explain why.

A man came to you and said he had £300m and wanted to buy a business for £4.2bn. Two of his mates would chip in £300m each. You lent him the rest. To their credit, they’ve been matching cash calls ever since. But here is what you actually agreed to: you needed Boehly’s money, which meant Boehly got something in return. What he got was influence over the sporting operation. And the first thing he did with it was sack Thomas Tuchel so he could have his dressing room access.

That decision, made to protect your financial relationship with a co-investor who couldn’t actually afford the asset, is what set everything else in motion.

Roman left you a blueprint. He won trophies, built a global brand, and maintained a fair value that always exceeded his cost basis. Central to that was Cobham. Fans across England sing “he’s one of our own” for a reason. That bond between a club and its homegrown players is not sentiment. It is enterprise value. You dismantled it. You sold the graduates and killed the pipeline, not because it made sporting sense, but because your financial model required short term asset monetisation over long term brand construction.

You have now spent more on transfers than any ownership group in the history of football. Chelsea are currently 9th. Below Brentford. Below Brighton. That is the sporting output of your model, and those fans who sang “he’s one of our own” have noticed.

Here is where your conceptual flaw becomes permanent. Boehly has £100m of interest accrued and payable to Ares. You have at least £600m sitting in the Cayman Islands, accruing and payable to COP III. Across the group the interest bill is approaching £400m this year. That means you have no choice but to run this club for one purpose: to make debt service payments. Managing a football club to pay interest has never worked in the history of this game unless you’re Manchester United. Your problem is that you don’t have their revenues. So you are flipping players to fund cash flow.

There will be no properly experienced signings. No manager with real authority. No trophies. You’re caught in a sell-to-buy death spiral and fans have worked out exactly what is happening.

If you’ve made it this far in my letter, this is the part I’d encourage you to sit up and focus on. You need the fans more than they need you. Every day more of them are learning what this structure actually means for the club they love, and they are making a rational decision: do not buy the brand of an owner who is just here to pay interest.

Your perverse incentive is to balance the books, manage the asset, and extract the best possible valuation before the debt matures. Their perverse incentive is to make sure you never get there, because the only exit that actually serves their interests is Ares foreclosing and forcing a sale to someone who can run this club properly.

Think about what that means. The fans who generate the revenue you need to service your debt are now rationally incentivised to undermine that revenue.

You created a structure where your key stakeholder group is rooting for your creditor to take the club from you. That is not a communication problem or a PR problem. It is a structural conflict with no resolution inside your current ownership model.

I’m not sure what the long term prognosis is for a business in that position. But I think you already know.

Yours truly,

bf

[Greenacres Rescue @team_greenacres]

💔NOBODY WANTS TIMMY - Still No interest & No applications💔

We don’t understand it, truly, we don’t. Timmy has been overlooked time & time again, it’s breaking our hearts. He watches others leave, wondering when it will finally be his turn & it just isn’t happening

🔁We need your help. PLEASE share Timmy far & wide. The more people who see him, the better his chance of finally being chosen. Right now, it feels like no one wants him & we refuse to believe that’s true🔁

Meet Timmy, a beautiful, laid-back 8 year old gentle Lurcher with the most soulful eyes & the calmest nature

🐶Timmy enjoys the quieter side of life — cosy naps, peaceful strolls & simply being close to his people

🐶He is wonderfully laid back

✅️🐶Dog friendly but resident dog(s) would need to be of a similar size. Loves other sighthounds

❌️🐶Will not be rehomed with small dogs - especially those similar in size to cats or small furries❌️

❌️😺🐇🐁 No cats or small furries❌️

🏡Timmy is looking for a loving forever home where he can be cherished & enjoy all the comforts he deserves

🏡He would adore a home where he can stretch out on his very own sofa, preferably with a soft duvet to snuggle into

🏡He is a true sighthound lover’s dream

🏡If you’re searching for an easy-going, affectionate companion to share relaxed days & warm evenings with, Timmy may just be the perfect addition to your home

🏡If you think you can offer Timmy the right home, please complete the application form by following the link below👇

🔗
https://t.co/eHId23nCao

📝FYI: Applications are processed Monday to Thursday. Please be patient, our Rehoming Team will be in contact with you as soon as possible📝

🏡����All successful applications will be subject to home & vet checks🏥🏡

📍Our animals are based in #Pembrokeshire South West #Wales While we do rehome across the UK, please keep our location in mind because visits to the centre are essential. We may also prioritise homes that are closer to the rescue

For full details on our adoption process please visit:

🔗
https://t.co/P5YZxvile6

🔁Can’t adopt right now?
The best way to help an animal in need is to SHARE THEIR POST so it reaches their forever home🔁

There has to be someone out there for him. Someone who sees what we see. Someone who will give this beautiful boy the love & comfort he so desperately deserves 💚🙏💚

#teamgreenacres #rescue #k9hour #rehomehour #seniorsaturday #seniordog #seniordogalert #teamzay

[Bobby F. 🍁 @bobbyfairview]

🚨I have now worked out the full cost of the debt in the Cayman Islands and what Eghbali and Feliciano plan to make from this deal.

The Cayman Islands entity through which Clearlake controls Chelsea and Strasbourg is accruing approximately £202m per year on £1.8bn of debt we only discovered through the 21 April 2026 article from The Athletic. This is contractual interest that appears in no UK filing and is invisible to every UK regulator.

I have now estimated that Eghbali and Feliciano have positioned themselves to extract up to £1.1bn in fees and carry if they hit their valuation targets. That is enough to buy a couple of Premier League clubs at Newcastle’s 2021 purchase price.

Blueco supporters have been told Clearlake’s stake is equity. It is not. Paul Quinn published an important piece yesterday at @theesk on whether COP III’s instrument is debt or equity. Applying the legal characterisation is exactly what Clearlake relies on, so we need to focus on the economic reality that Paul describes, which journalists have failed to report on.

No surprise, calculating the exact interest rate is difficult, and that difficulty is itself the story. COP III was designed for 18 to 22 investments across North American technology, industrial and consumer businesses at $50m to $150m each. The PSERS public investment memorandum, filed with Pennsylvania’s public school teachers and linked in Paul’s article, confirms that 40% to 70% of the fund’s targeted return is contractual in nature, taking the form of cash or PIK yield.

Blueco is the fund’s only investment, which is a clear violation of the publicly stated investment mandate. The fund is invested at approximately 15 times the upper end of the stated per-position size, in the wrong geography, in the wrong sector, with no currency hedge despite the memorandum explicitly stating none would be needed.
With only one investment, that contractual yield range collapses to a single privately negotiated rate sitting in a Cayman Islands document that carries no public disclosure requirement. The terms are hidden in a jurisdiction chosen precisely because it has no obligation to disclose them.

The minimum of what that facility is costing Blueco is as follows. Ares earns 11.25% as the senior lender at 22 Holdco. Blues Investment Holdings L.P., Clearlake’s Cayman Islands vehicle, sits junior to Ares. Junior debt never earns less than senior debt. At minimum 11.25% on £1.794bn, the contractual interest accruing in the Cayman Islands is approximately £202m per year, invisible in every UK filing and invisible to every UK regulator.

On top of that sits Clearlake’s fee. The PSERS memorandum targets 20% gross and 15% net returns. That 5% difference flows to Clearlake as fees and carry. At full deployment of £2.2bn that is up to £110m per year, meaning Clearlake stand to extract up to £1.1bn over the life of the fund if they hit their valuation target.

Blueco supporters were told this was equity. Pennsylvania’s teachers were told their money was going into a diversified non-control North American private credit portfolio. The 22 Holdco 2023 accounts confirm that on 30 June 2023 the controlling shareholding transferred to Blues Investment Holdings L.P., incorporated in the Cayman Islands, where it has been accruing contractual interest ever since.

Journalists need to ask the questions this document raises. What is the exact contractual rate on the Blues Investment Holdings instrument? What covenants govern it? Was there a foreclosure on Todd Boehly that gave Clearlake operational control? Have PSERS members been told their money is in a controlling stake of European football clubs? Do they know these clubs burned through £43.5m in cash every single month last year? And why is the entity collecting contractual interest on £1.794bn incorporated in a jurisdiction with no public disclosure requirement?

The PSERS memorandum is public. The link is in Paul’s article. Read it.

#BluecoOUT

[Andrew Cotter @MrAndrewCotter]

Seizing the day.

[Frank Sinclair ⚽️ @FrankMSinclair]

Christmas isn’t festive for all of us. Don���t suffer in silence. It’s okay not to be okay.

☎️Childline
08001111

☎️Samaritans
116 123

☎️CALM
0800585858

☎️Women’s Aid
08082000247

☎️MIND
03001233393

☎️Age UK
03001696565

☎️ Shelter
08088004444

☎️ LGBT Switchboard
03003300630

[Boozy Lunch @BoozyLunch]

Hard time of year for a lot of folks. Suicide Hotline 116 123 (Samaritans) A simple copy and paste might save someone's life.

Would 3 Twitter friends please copy this text and post under their own name? Pass it on…

[Dan Levene @danlevene]

Gooner pal has suggested Mikel Arteta is the dream choice for Arsenal because 'it's not about winning things, more about getting them playing the right way'.
If that's the case, perhaps they should give it to Jeremy Corbyn until the end of the season?

[Dara Ó Briain @daraobriain]

Jesus, that is just grim. One of the triumphs of modern tines, being able to treat 27 vastly different countries as home, being repackaged and sold as cheap, small-minded xenophobia.

[Gary Lineker @GaryLineker]

I’m neither left-wing nor an activist, but if you mean I have empathy towards the dire circumstances of refugees or that I’m patriotic enough to care about my country’s future, then I make no apologies.

[Susie Dent @susie_dent]

A reminder tonight that a bloviator is someone who talks at great length on a subject they know very little about.

[Boozy Lunch @BoozyLunch]

@willwrite4cake the best explanation you could ever offer as to why people go out and get pissed on a Saturday night.