BorisCareGuide

The Complete Guide to Caring for your Boris - including grooming tips and how to safely remove an overexcited Boris from your leg. By @PaulRigbywrites.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

How To Take Care of Your Boris

Don’t get him wet

Don’t expose him to bright light

Don’t feed him after midnight

And don’t, whatever you do, let him become Prime Minister!

[Pooh Happens @Pooh_2022]

“So, I hear you’ve completely lost your mind and now you’re planning to take over the 100 Acre Wood…”
“No, that’s my cousin, Winnie the Putin.”
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[Pooh Happens @Pooh_2022]

Reluctantly, Pooh was forced to apologise to everyone for attending the outdoor party…

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[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Borises hate two things -
being stuck indoors all day and being told what to do.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Be careful where you play ball with your Boris . . .

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Getting to the top of the tree doesn’t necessarily mean a Boris can stay there . . . https://t.co/V9zWn7OHZ9

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Although Borises aren’t the smartest creatures, only Nigels actually bite the hand that feeds them.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

A young Boris, abandoned by his own parents, finds a new family to take care of him . . . https://t.co/277s1al9kb

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

As this photo shows, Borises are particularly good at coping with stress . . .
#InternationalCatDay

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Due to their erratic behaviour, long hair and tendency to charge ahead regardless, Seeing Eye Borises have never proved particularly successful . . .

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

After several trips to Europe, Boris finally returns with something substantial . . .

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Start the week the way you mean to go on - like Boris!
#MondayMotivation

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Ah, the Amazon Rain Boris - noted for its ability to leap into abysses and fertilise up to 16 billion Boris spawn a day . . .

[JoJalopie @JoJalopie]

I found this photo of an Amphibious Boris @BorisCareGuide

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

While it can be hard to accept, if your Boris has lost his bounce, sometimes the best thing you can do is have him put down.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

@Lindowitz @50NerdsofGrey It’s the new Brexit pet tax. (Someone has to pay for it)

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

When you choose a pet, you need to consider your finances first - a cat can cost around £100 per month, a dog around £150 and a Boris just over £2 billion.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

If you’re going to take your Boris for a walk in a public place, don’t forget he must wear a muzzle. Otherwise he might say something really stupid.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Borises are extremely good climbers, able to reach the top of the highest tree by stepping only on their closest companions.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

The Boris is what’s known as a random large-scale migratory creature - it leaves Europe in late October and heads blindly in no particular direction, taking the entire country with it.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

The Boris is the only pet that breaks wind then blames it on its owner.

[BorisCareGuide @BorisCareGuide]

Although Borises are fashionable pets in the South of England, they’re not quite so popular in Scotland . . .