evan 🐼

career simp

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

want my first born to be gender fluid so they can be both my gay son and my thot daughter

[ray ! 🌟🌴 @scapehook]

Wrestling fans:

[Kava @vaniIIaIace]

When the front bottoms said you are the truth i choose to bend myself around

[BostonNooga @BostonNooga]

I think pot culture is the dumbest shit imaginable, and I say that as a person who likes professional wrestling

[Christian Sins @buttstuff4jesus]

@unexplainables8 Wisconsin

[Benny Feldman @Feldfrog]

I try to watch movies from the perspective of an audience member and try to imagine what I might think if I was someone watching the movie

[\⊹\˚.*₊𓆩::j✩ck!::𓆪₊*.˚/⊹/ @yyeahsure]

dude LMFAOOOOO 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

[cel🦇 @celthewitch]

Yeah I’d catch a murder charge idgaf

[keegan @Keegan59992745]

Do NOT laugh at a movie unless it is EXPLICITLY listed as a comedy. There is NOTHING funny about ANY other genre. Grow up!

[josh (oldfriend99) @oldfriend99]

Did you know all of the main cast members of The Office are still alive? It's known as The Office curse

[Gay Interrupted @TwinkTheory]

Unfortunately 'I was eating alcoholically' has permanently entered my lexicon

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

same here and I’m male

[amy @littlemissket]

Dragunov in AEW is interesting because the thought of him vs Mox for example gets me ovulating however the mere idea of a 20+ minute match against Ospreay might genuinely kill my love for this sport

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

@ShesABoy personally- loved the first 2 acts. fell apart in the third. many such cases.

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

I made a joke about Kobe’s death at work like right after it happened and this kid that we called “Big Raph” legitimately tried to fight me

[Bella @Bellakpycus]

Kobe hates everyone……except one

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

almost every time I get pulled over I act so nervous and weird that the cop expresses interest in searching my vehicle and asks me if I am on or have an extensive list of drugs

[Pamela Baramundi @Pamela_Vista]

when i was 17 a police officer breathalysed me after stopping me to say a bulb was out on my headlights, he said it was because I was overly nervous and sweating profusely, he asked if I had had anything to drink and I was so nervous I told him that I had a dr pepper ealier

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

@awaitingtrial it’s a lot of fun for sure

[evan 🐼 @BorzoiEvan]

Getting drunk on cheap vodka has given me the inescapable desire to tweet- which explains most of my Twitter activity from 2021-2024.

[jay 🦇 @piledrived]

cody rhodes character is just beyond saving i dont give a fuck about anything he does and its not like hes having banger matches to make up for it either

[𝑴𝒐 𝑴𝒐𝒉𝒍𝒆𝒓 @MoMohler]

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever drank 14 Miller High Lifes in a garage?