Rightbracket

[brian @brianonhere]

never really thought of hasan piker as a real threat but it looks like he’s just been upgraded to hasan halberdier. my light cavalry could be in real trouble

[Kyle 🚄 @KyleTrainEmoji]

PICARD: Data, shields up

DATA: Brilliant! Shields can reduce damage we sustain. Not immunity. Not hubris. Just prudence. It's not precaution—it's strategy.

[camera shakes]

WORF: HULL BREACHES ON NINE DECKS

DATA: Here's what happened: you told me to raise shields, and I didn't

[abcdent @abcdentminded]

I always said that Genius Dot Com should only show you two thirds of the lyrics and then make your phone really hot, it's so cool that they're willing to listen to their users' ideas

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

reminder that if you don’t buy Sudafed from the pharmacist behind their little counter and you just get the box in the store IT DOES NOTHING AND THE FDA HAS ADMITTED THIS

[Mr Bastardos @Ken_Stonger]

@politico

[charlie @chunkbardey]

it’s so amazing when you’re handwriting and you get to a word with two t’s and you get to do one big line across for both of them. life can be amazing occasionally though also still very painful

[Errai @errai]

Clown school bully shoving 14 kids in a locker

[Hannah @Spanish_Techno]

The wife goes, “what if I had a special day where I got to keep the thermostat at 78 degrees.” I’m living with an iguana

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

literally

[Steez⁴⁷ @Steez_47]

Earl Sweatshirt really was the funniest on this show

[i’m normal @boners]

4 hour long Whose Line Is It Anyway Scenes from a Hat compilation video on youtube

[rebekah @rebekah_e_s]

"my baby won't have screentime before they are two"

okay well my baby is watching columbo with me

[omar @DripArab]

I SAID TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SAFELY

[respectful huff @alexqarbuckle]

There are some names that are perfect. They hum with a resonance that connects us to divine truths and heavenly energies. “Regis Philbin” for example

[Synth Potato🥔 @SynthPotato]

Need the Oblivion Remake to deliver legendary moments of peak dialogue just like the OG game did

[Steven Godofsky @sgodofsk]

This is hilarious cope. The touchscreen is the thing consumers overwhelmingly dislike most about Teslas (and other cars that use them for key controls)