BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge

Owner: Brad Sussman Insurance, Ltd. Itinerant Morning show host on WTAM and (formerly) KSFO. Weather guru. Husband & dad of six. Pronouns: Ultra Maga,Deplorable

[Hoosier Hammer 🔨🦬🏆🏈 @Brentonmfender]

This video of Dolly Parton covering Stairway to Heaven is going around. Here's a higher quality version for you to enjoy. RIP to the Queen of Country and an absolute angel on Earth.

[Owen the Monkey 🐵 @owenmiller75]

@RoyalFamily #RIPDolly 💔 #RIPDollyParton 😇

[The Royal Family @RoyalFamily]

Remembering the late, great Dolly, who brought joy, comfort and inspiration to so many - including the millions of children given free books through her Imagination Library. We will always ❤️ you.

[Selene Mariposa @Selene_Mariposa]

INTRODUCING FUC-EES

I have a business plan and I would like investors.

Six locations. Every one sits four hundred yards past the California state line on Interstate 15, Interstate 40, Interstate 10, Interstate 8 and Interstate 80. Arizona and Nevada. You will see the sign before you see the border.

And a seventh, which is the flagship.

Stateline, Nevada. Right at the edge of Lake Tahoe, close enough that the second floor deck looks straight out over the water. You drive out of California, cross an invisible line, and there it is. Alpine lake, pine trees, a hundred and twelve gas pumps and a full service tire shop.

That one has slots.

Because it is Nevada and there is no reason not to. You can use a clean bathroom, play a hand of blackjack, eat at an all you can eat buffet featuring nine things Sacramento has outlawed, get four new tires fitted, and walk out having won a gas generator.

Nowhere else on the continent can you do all five of those in ninety minutes. That is not a truck stop. That is a civilisation.

No refinery at Tahoe though. Even I have limits.

Here is what we sell.

Gasoline at the actual price. Not the California price. The six interstate locations get their own small refinery, because two of theirs are closing and somebody has to do it.

Generators. An entire wing of them. California has banned the sale of new gas generators in a state that turns the power off on purpose, and I intend to be four hundred yards away when people work that out.

Leaf blowers. Chainsaws. Pressure washers. Lawn mowers. Everything with a small gas engine, which is now everything California will not sell you.

Those little green propane cylinders for camping. Banned there this year. We have a pallet.

Fireworks. The real ones. Not Safe and Sane. The other kind.

A plastic straw. In your hand. Immediately. No conversation about it.

Incandescent bulbs. A whole wall of them, warm and humming and gloriously inefficient.

Gas stoves, gas water heaters, gas anything. The gas department is enormous and the salespeople are unbearably smug.

Dishwashers that finish in under an hour and showerheads with an opinion.

Foie gras. Illegal there since 2012. I am not certain how many people want it, but that is rather the point.

The candy aisle carries every dye and additive Sacramento has taken a run at, plus a dedicated cooler for whatever they added to the list since I wrote this.

And a full sushi counter with actual sushi chefs, because Californians know sushi and it is the one thing on this list they will genuinely miss.

Two hundred and forty gas pumps. Eighty-three bathroom stalls, cleaned hourly, and the bathrooms are the entire point, because anybody who has driven that stretch knows exactly what the alternative is.

Brisket. Obviously brisket. And no, we are not carrying tri-tip. Tri-tip is a very good steak and it is not barbecue, and I will not be taking questions.

Nothing in the building carries a Prop 65 warning, because we are not in California and nobody has to tell you the parking lot causes cancer.

Now the part where I get sued.

Yes. Buc-ee's will sue us. Their legal department has flattened bigger and better funded people than me over a beaver, a font, and a general vibe of Texas.

I welcome it. I would like to be sued by Buc-ee's the way some people would like to meet Springsteen.

But I would rather partner.

Here is the pitch, gentlemen. You have forty odd locations and not one is within a thousand miles of the largest captive market in North America. Forty million people, an hour from a border, who cannot legally buy half of what you sell.

We are not competing with you. We are the customs checkpoint.

And the Tahoe location has slots and a view of the lake.

Call me. I will bring the numbers and I will wear the good shoes.

🦋

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@Gini_220 2208

[Larry The Cable Guy @GitRDoneLarry]

😂

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@mutoroel @FreddyLA7 What if the bad guy has two pistols?

[Emma Camp @emmma_camp_]

What can a vintage refrigerator tell us about capitalism? Quite a lot, actually!

Find out more in my latest for @WSJFreeEx

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@juliawestwick7 @emmma_camp_ @WSJFreeEx I just replaced a 26-year-old fridge. My repair guy said good luck getting 10 years out of a new one.

[ClamFan @Clam_Fan]

A 72-year-old man goes to the doctor for his check-up.

The doctor is blown away by the man’s physical condition and asks the old guy, “How are you managing to stay in such great shape?”

“Lemme tell you, Doc, I’m in such good shape because I play golf every day and always walk the course!” the old golfer exclaimed. “And I always have at least one shot of Irish whiskey each day - and sometimes, two!”

“Well, I’m sure that helps,” says the doctor, “but there has to be more. How old was your father when he died?”

“Who said my dad is dead?” asks the old golfer.

The doctor is stunned. “You mean you’re 72 years old and your dad is still alive? How old is he?”

“He’s 93 years old, Doc” says the old golfer. “In fact, we played golf together this morning, right before we took a walk on the topless beach, and we each took two shots of Irish whiskey on the golf course, and that’s why he’s still alive!”

“Well, that’s amazing,” the doctor rather sarcastically states, “but there has to be more. How about your dad’s father? How old was he when he died?”

“Who said grandpa is dead?” asked the old golfer.

Befuddled, the doctor asks, “If you’re 72 years old, your dad is 93 years old, and your grandfather is still living, how old is he?”

The old golfer says, “He’s 112 years old!”

Thoroughly exasperated, the doctor almost satirically asks, “So I guess he went golfing with the two of you this morning, and took shots of Irish whiskey, too?”

“No, Grampy couldn’t go golfing this morning. He’s getting married today!”

At this point, losing his cool, the doctor exclaims, “Getting married? Why would a 112-year-old man want to get married?”

“Who said he wanted to?”

[Jason Schondelmyer @CoachSchondo]

Let’s not forget how blessed we are! God Bless the USA!

[BostonWriter @bostonwriter]

If this sort of thing doesn’t stop you in your tracks and make even the slightest twinge of pride rise in your soul… well… I feel sorry for you.

[Mike Bales 🫡🇺🇸 @MikeBales]

A World War II pilot is reminiscing before schoolchildren about his flying days during the war.

“In 1942,” he says, “the situation was really tough. The Germans had a very strong air force. I remember,” he continues, “one day I was protecting the bombers and suddenly, out of the clouds, these fokkers appeared.

I looked up, and right above me was one of them. I aimed at him and shot him down. They were swarming. I immediately realized that there was another fokker behind me.”

The teacher stands up and says, “I think I should point out that ‘Fokker’ was the name of the German-Dutch aircraft company.”

“That’s true,” says the pilot, “but these fokkers were flying Messerschmitts.”

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@parkeralewis In 2020 I paid $8.97/lb. for Sam's Club ribeyes. In 2023 they were $13.48/lb. Today it's $14.97. Not 90%, but pretty damn close. By the way, pork prices have remained flat. Part of the reason is it takes two years to bring a steer to market, and a hog only six months.

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@parkeralewis @crypto_amaru In 2020 I paid $8.97/lb. for Sam's Club ribeyes. In 2023 they were $13.48/lb. Today it's $14.97. Not 90%, but pretty damn close. By the way, pork prices have remained flat. Part of the reason is it takes two years to bring a steer to market, and a hog only six months.

[The White House @WhiteHouse]

Today, we remember a legend.

On this day in history, Harambe would have celebrated another birthday. An icon that became part of internet history, American culture, and an entire generation’s timeline.

Tomorrow marks 10 years since we lost him. Ten years since the moment the world stopped scrolling and collectively mourned something bigger than a meme.

He became a symbol of loyalty, strength, chaos, unity, and the strange beauty of the internet bringing millions of people together for one cause: never forgetting Harambe.

Everyone remembers where they were when they heard the news. And somehow, a decade later, his legacy still lives on.

Gone, but never forgotten.
Rest easy to a true patriot. 🕊️🇺🇸

May 27, 1999 — May 28, 2016
Forever in our hearts.

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@JoeKinseyexp I have no problem with dippin' pouches, since I do it as well. Now, when it comes to the smoochie-smoochies, I'd hope they'd remove it.

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@JoeKinseyexp I demand a picture of Adam. I'm sure he's a 'bronzed Adonis'.

[BBSuss - Itinerant radio host, BBQ Judge @BradSuss]

@EndWokeness Face down on a gross, hotel lobby carpet. That should be sentence enough! (/s) Nah, throw the book at him.